My Drawings/Sketches

PAINTING!! WAIT WHAT??/RANT ABOUT ANXIETY

So I painted this. And it's half finished.
I also really suck at painting so I'm proud XD
I have returned for a while but I'm pretty much going straight after I post this.

Um from here it's gunna be a rabble so if you don't want to read it you don't have to. Um yeah.

So I went on a dreamworld trip with my friends for school and as some/most of you know my anxiety gets really bad when I'm in closed areas with lots of noise/people. So I was super anxious before I got in the bus but all my friends were there and I put on music and I was soon back to normal. I was fine up until I got to the park. So what happened here was we were waiting outside and there was this ride, called The Buzz saw, I had promised one of my friends that I would go on it with him but completely freaked out when I saw it. So basically after we got in we were wondering around for about like 10 minutes and we wanted to go on the log ride . Cause why not. But something went wrong so we had to wait. In the mean time I decided that I wanted to ' overcome my fear/phobia' of heights and 3 of my friends wanted to go on the giant drop so we did. But this is where the shit hit the fan.
We were waiting in line and I stated wanting to back out but I told the, that they had to push me to my limits. My limit was waiting in the line for that ride.
I had an anxiety attack while I was being strapped into the ride. While the ride was going up, at the top of the ride and when I got off the ride. IT WAS THAT BAD THAG SOME RANDOM PERSON SITTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RIDE WAS TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN. IT SOUNDED LIKE I WAS GIVING BIRTH TO AN ELEPHANT! I cried and was shaking and all three of my friends were like so proud of me for going on it. But this is only the beginning of Panic attacks.

The day went on I went on like 2 more rides and then it's time for the bus home... Yay -.-
I have to say here my friends were fine one the rides and after the rides, we went on the majority at the start of the day.

So I sat in the bus, was one of the first few and strapped myself in with my mates behind me, all except one. We were all wondering where he was and like 5 minutes went by. So let's call my close friend, bob. So bob was worried about the kid who wasn't on the bus, lets call him frank. So bob got off the bus to talk to a teacher and the teacher walked back on and told us that frank was sick in the gutter. SHE TOLD ME AND MY FRIENDS THAT FRANK WAS SICK! I screamed and said that frank is not allowed to be on that bus, I absolutely flipped like I was hyperventilating and crying and squealing and I couldn't. SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND FROM PRIMARY SCHOOL AND MY BOYFRIEND WHO WERE BOTH CALMING ME DOWN THE BEST THEY COULD!!
So about 30 minutes went by and I'm completely normal again. Feeling calm but kind of sick in the stomach. ( I'll explain later why)
So it's like 5 minutes before we stop and Bob asks The teacher is frank will still be needing Bobs water bottle and the teacher told bob that he wouldn't want it back. Now I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar but I'm fucking good at picking up hints. FRANK THREW UP ON THE BUS 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE STOP! So I start having another panic attack and then we pull into this stop with a servo and fast food restaurant. The panic attack got worse. Not only did I not want to get off the bus because Bib was sitting up the front but the place we pulled into was the place my parents had to pull into the last time my sister threw up in the car.
The teacher finally gets me off the bus and I'm sitting outside of Hungry Jacks I think I was and about 10 people came up to me to ask if I was alright. Now one of those was a teacher asking if I wanted food. Here is where I explain.

When people (me) have a huge rush of adrenaline which is what happens when people have anxiety attacks, the brain thinks it using its last resort, so it shuts off the digestive tract because it's one of the least important organs when fighting for your life. I didn't eat anything.

Anyway, so I'm sitting outside looking like a weird hobo that has tear stained cheeks and then Franks comes and sits next to me. I move a little but away from him, not enough for him to notice but I had to say that. Then frank disappears for like 10 minutes and I knew he wasn't getting food. I knew he was being sick. He then came back and decided to public ally announce that he was just being sick. Now I have nothing against that or him but I stood up and left. Without saying a thing. Then bob comes around then corner a few minutes later and starts talking to me to calm me down and it worked, like actually worked, so thanks bob!! :)

BTW, FRANK IS A FRIEND OF MINE !! I'm so sorry bæ

The rest of the story is that Frank 2 (my other friend with the same name) said that he was feeling ill too so k cried out my earphones in turned my music on the highest volume  possible and looked like an absolute bitch to anyone who dared to look at me.

So that happened. Btw, sorry that wasn't in my rant book, I've kinda taken steps away from that. But that's what happened to me while away from family.

Hope you all have a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And a happy birthday to CottonCandyMe too. :) (for the 18th that is ;) )