I got to school on Friday just one of the guys. Nate and I had split up 4 weeks before, but we had still been acting like a couple. Friday was the end of that. On Thursday, I decided that Nate and I still acting like we were dating was hurting too much. The break up was mutual, but it felt worse than any other pain I'd faced. Heartbreak is the worst depression.
I hurt.
The emotional pain was leading to physical pain, and it seemed like my body was shutting down from the sadness. But I laid down rules anyways.
No touching.
No nicknames.
No "I love you."
We couldn't keep acting like we were dating, it was hurting more. But I was happier with no rules...
On Friday, I got to school and Nate was already sitting by the trash can. I walked over and he stood up. We hugged silently for a long time. One kiss. Then two. Then three.
We pulled away and looked at each other. I fought back tears and my nose was running. His hugs and kisses and cuddles were gone, and they left nothing but coldness and tears behind.
Kyle, Cory, James, and Jennifer got to school later and all came to our spot near the trash can. It was before school, so we were hanging out.
Cory and James were Nate's friends and Kyle and Jennifer were mine. We mostly had conversation in those two groups, but sometimes we talked in one large group.
On Friday we were talking in one big group, but that didn't last long because Megan came.
Megan. The devilish demon monster from the depths of hell who's only purpose in life seems to be to make my heatbreak worse. She was such a whore that she only hung out with guys because they were the only ones who stick around, which they only did for fucking. She came to school every day with fresh hickies and walked like a fuckboy. Her long brown hair was always messy and her chubby face made her look like a puffer fish. She was taller than me, but still short, a sophomore, and she was loud, obnoxious, and one of those people who chewed with their mouth open which is revolting. Megan hated everyone and everything and never had friends because she was too busy smoking weed, smoking cigarettes, drinking, and doing God knows what else.
Well, she got to school on Friday and sat in the center of the circle we had all formed, like always. She cut off James, Jennifer, and Kyle from the circle and faced Nate. She started flirting, like always, and I instantly got on my phone and texted Kyle.
He scooted around and rejoined the circle and we texted.
Then he did more than text. He told her what we were saying.
"Megan no one likes you. Why do you even sit over here? The only reason any of us tolerate you is because you get us cigarettes. No one actually likes you. I don't like you, Ryan doesn't like you, James doesn't like you. Why do you even bother to come over here. You're an obnoxious whore and everyone hates you." said Kyle dully.
I watched as Megan's face got red from anger.
She got up in Kyle's face and started yelling and spitting her food in his face in the process. She pointed at him, her finger only and inch from his face.
"You know what, I don't give any shits Kyle! No one likes you either, you're just a fucking New waver and everyone thinks you're a piece of garbage! I don't care if Ryan doesn't like me, I hate her she can get over it! I've never liked her and she's just a worthless piece of shit and no one cares about her!"
Megan got up and stormed away. Everyone remained silent. They all looked at me to see what I would do. I leaned against the wall with my eyes closed and wished I could curl up into Nate's arms and cry. I wanted to burry my face into his chest and be surrounded by warmth, safety, and the smell of him. But I couldn't. I was just one of the guys.
I fought back tears and stood up and grabbed my bag off the floor.
"It's time to leave," I muttered.
Nate and the others stood up too and Jennifer, James, and Cory headed to first block. Kyle asked if I was ok and left when I nodded.
I looked at Nate. He looked back. I tried to think of something to say. He was quicker.
"How are you?" he asked.
"I could be better," I muttered.
He frowned, "You're quiet today."
"Yeh," I whispered sadly.
We walked towards the English hallway together.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"It's fine I guess," I said.
Silence.
We got to where our paths separate and I went to hug him, forgetting I couldn't. Then I pulled back and looked at his eyes.
"Sorry... Have a good class..."
He nodded, "you too."
I wished for so much. So many Hollywood moments and fanfiction endings that would never happen. I wished for him to come running back realizing he missed me dearly and that he couldn't live without me, or that he couldn't stand the thought of loosing me. But that is only in Hollywood and fanfiction. No matter how much I put our story on wattpad it will never be a fanfiction, it is reality.
And reality sucks ass.
