All The Mistakes I've Made

Part six

The first few seconds Luke spent waking up, all he could think about was the pounding in his head. He had definitely never been as drunk as he was the night before, and his intense hangover wouldn't let him forget it. But it didn't take long for him to remember the kissing and the touching and Michael telling him to stop. He groaned and curled into a ball, almost beginning to cry in his sorrow again, until he realized he was alone in his bed, and wasn't alone when he had fallen asleep.

His eyes shot open and he surveyed the room. Michael's suitcase was still there, thank god, but there was no sign of him anywhere. He didn't hear the shower on either. He must have left.

Luke reached for his phone and immediately panicked when he saw the time. It was 1:39PM, and he probably needed to be at the venue in less than 2 hours to start getting ready for interviews and rehearsal, leaving Luke with little time to pack or eat or much of anything else.

He had 6 text messages waiting for him - one from his mum, one from his brother, one from Ashton, and three from Michael. The blond gulped just at imagining what the text from Michael could be - will he be yelling at him for ruining their friendship? Telling Luke straight forward that he will never love him? Letting Luke know he had moved to Paraguay and will probably never see him again? Luke held his breath while he unlocked his phone and opened his messages.

He decided to rip the band aid off and read Michael's texts first:

From: Mikey (9:13AM)

Hey, so I woke up early with a dead arm (thanks to you haha) and I just really needed to get out of the room and walk around a bit. So I'm going to breakfast with Ash. Just didn't want you to freak out when you woke up alone

From: Mikey (9:15AM)

Btw, idk if you blacked out again last night or not, but if you didn't...just know we're okay, and everything is okay, okay? Love you bro

From: Mikey (11:47AM)

I just went back into our room and you're still asleep. Jesus. Anyways I'm going to the venue early with Calum bc he broke a fucking guitar string and needs someone to fix it ASAP. See you there

Luke sighed deeply, taking it all in. So Michael didn't hate him - that was good to hear. Or at least he was pretending he didn't, for the sake of the band. He had every reason to hate the younger boy, for taking advantage of him for Luke's own personal desire.

Luke hated himself. He hated what he had become - this miserable, lonely being who constantly sulked around, affecting the moods of everyone around him, only because he was unhappy that he couldn't have what he wanted. Michael. He wanted him so bad, but there was nothing in the world that could make that happen.

And to think Luke thought it would be easy to stop loving Michael. What Luke had hoped might be just a phase had turned out to be one of the hardest things Luke had ever tried to accomplish. Seeing Michael's face, hearing his laugh, and feeling his skin every day for months on end will make this task difficult, and Luke didn't know if he could do it.

But he didn't have a choice. He was going to have to stop loving him, not for himself, but for his band, their career, and of course, Michael.

Luke read the 3 words Michael had ended the second text with - "Love you, bro" - over and over again until he began to feel sick. He closed out of the older boy's messages and looked at his others.

His mother sent a nice text, telling him how excited she and his dad were to see him, and the text from his brother Jack was similar. Maybe going home and spending some time apart from Michael will do us justice, Luke hoped optimistically. Maybe it could save the sliver of friendship they still had.