Sex Secretary

Chyna P.O.V.

Dear: Chyna, your beautiful,  your heart, body, and mind.  I will always cherish myself because I'm woman enough to admit my mistakes. I'm kind, I'm like gold.  I love me, and my family. So much hurt I went through,  but my love for myself will never die.

I write to myself every night. It make me feel at peace with myself.  So much has happened to me, and it's hard for me to forget. I love my life now that I'm older, but when I was younger. It was colder.

(Flash Back)

Growing up in Atlanta Georgia wasn't easy, you had your drug dealers,  yo tricks, the pimps, and the perverts.  I have always been a beautiful girl. Everyone told me. I knew it myself.  My mama always use to say.

"Chyna your so beautiful" She said

"Yes mama you tell me everyday" I said

"Then I'm glad you know, but don't let that beauty get men in between your legs" She side eyed me

"Mama stop!" I yelled

I gave my mama a kiss and a hug and left. It was really cold this night.  I was 13 years old, heading to a friend house.  I been feeling like somebody was following me. I would stop and turn around and see nobody there. 5 more minutes into walking I reached the alley, being approached by the worst gang of boys out there.

"Wassup lil mama" one boy ask

"Please domt hurt me, I'm only 13!" I yelled

"Baby girl age ain't nothing but a number" the other guy said

When those words escaped his mouth,  I felt my body being put on a hard pavement,  my pants were pulled off and my shirt was being riped.

"Damn to be so young, you got a fat ass pussy" the Dark skin said

"Please let me go!" I screamed

Before I could say anything else, I felt hard sensation go inside of me. It hurt so bad that I couldn't even cry. I felt dirty, nasty, I felt like a trick. All 5 guys took turns raping me, and let there cum off all on my body and left me like trash. I laid there for so long that I just felt like my spirit left my body. I never been the same.

After the rape thing I never told anybody else, and I never seen the guys again. I became addicted to weed, liquor and other things. I skipped school alot and mainly all my friends were hoes expect Destiny.  I became sexually active alot. I broke the rules and hung out with the local crew. Eventually my mama had enough and broke down. She had a panic attack. 2 days later she died.  I blame myself for her death. If I would have told someone,  she would still be here.

(Flash back over)

I'm much stronger and I'm much wiser. Nothing can break me. I'm already broken.  It took me so long to trust Terrian because I felt like he was just gonna use me. He's different.  I love him. My life would still be the same if o wouldn't have met him. I just really hopes these rumors I'm hearing about him and Destiny aren't true, because I will kill both of them, and get the fuck out the country.