Don't get close to me

The Grave

I ran to my mothers grave I didn't know why because I haven't been here since the funeral but I did. That is when I dropped to my knees and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I cried for about two hours before that happened though, but that's alright because I needed to let it out. I cried for her, I cried for my father and his mew copping skill of drinking and beating me and that one day he will take it to far and kill me, I cried for lying to Maria and hurting her by cutting, I cried for Andrew because of him getting close to me he got hurt, and I cried for myself I know how shallow is that crying for yourself but I did I cried for myself because I have always known that I will die I always just hoped that it wouldn't happen until I was older like eighty years older but I can now see that if I don't get out of this environment t that wont unless I make that happen because I know my father will either kill me with his own sorrowful, pitiful beatings on me or I will kill myself for myself and either way I am a fucking time about to go off and hurt everyone I get close to. So maybe I should just end all of my relationships before that happens, maybe I should just give up n all of my relationships until someone or someone kills me. Soon after that thought I fell into a deep sleep and I dreamed a interesting dream the dream was about....