NOAH:
"Noah Alizabeth Jones! Christy, Andrew, Hunter and Cassia will be here soon! Get your ass out of bed, and get dressed! Don't forget to make a good impression! They just moved in next door, and Hunter's going to start at your school on Monday!" My mother, Anna Marie Jones called up to me.
"Okay, okay! I'm up, Ma! Happy?" I screamed back.
"Very!" I could practically hear her smirking. I didn't want to meet this family, I didn't want to have dinner with them, I DEFINITELY did NOT want to become 'besties' with their son, and I didn't want him coming to my school. The LAST thing I need is some nerd reporting my every move to my mother. But, despite my rebelling attitude, I got my lazy ass up, and took a shower. I SO did not need my mom yelling at me AGAIN. I spent the entire shower thinking random thoughts. They went a little like this:
Lalalalala, HOLY SHIT MORE HAIR DYE IS WASHING OUT?! If I had known the upkeep was this hard, I never would have dyed it in the first place. Lalalala, AHHH!!! Oh god! A spider! Mommy, I need you! Ehh, whatever, just chill there, bro! Hmm... Shampoo is 12 bucks a bottle?! Holy shit! How will I survive in the real world? Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN!! Wha- What the fuq is touching my leg?! Oh it's just soap, okay... What is the square root of pi? Pshh... I don't even know what that means. When is Coldplay coming out with their new album? YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!! Wait, I hate One Dimension, or Two Direction... or Wrong Direction... Aw heck. Lalalala... I want one of those poodle skirts from the fifties... then i can feed it to my dog and run the dog over with my car, muahahahaha! Hmm... Do guys play with their penis in the shower? It's just... There, so I wonder... Girls don't play with their tits in the shower... Well, I guess I won't know 'cause I have a VAGINA!! Go femininity! Holy shit, I just spent like, and hour in the shower! Wow, that rhymed! I should major in English Literature. Hah! No, I need to get out!
HUNTER:
"Hunter Logan Anderson! Get your ass out of bed! We are going over to Anna, Kobe, Noah, and Dylan's house soon! Make a good impression, boy! You will be spending a lot of time with them, since you will be going to school with Noah!" My mother, Christy May Anderson yelled up to me.
"Whatever, mom! I don't need to be friends with some loser, anyways! It won't be that hard to make friends!" I shouted back. We just moved next door to some hyperactive family with two sons. Great. I didn't want to meet this family, I didn't want to have dinner with them, I DEFINITELY didn't want to become 'Besties' with their son, and I didn't want to go to their stupid school. As if I would ever like their son anyways, he's probably just some nerd. Noah. What a gay name! 6:30. Great, time to go over to their hyperactive household. We all went next door, and knocked, like pathetic losers. WE looked hyperactive, and community involved. Gross.
"Hey Christy! You look so good! Hey Cassia! Hey boys! Come on in!" A lady exclaimed. Then a little boy came out from behind her. He looked at my sister.
"Woah, you're hot!" He exclaimed, his eyes widening at the sight of her. My sister gave him a funny look.
"Okay! Thanks, Anna!" My mom replied awkwardly. Anna turned to me.
"Hunter, Noah's upstairs! You should go say hi. I think you two will get along." I inwardly groaned.
"Okay! Where's Noah's room?" I asked impatiently.
"Second door on the right!" She said happily. I nodded, then walked up the stairs to this loser. Great, fun. I saw the door with a sign saying "Enter, and I kick your ass. Love, Noah." on it. So, I'm assuming this room is Noah's. I opened the door, to find a half-naked hot girl in it.
NOAH:
Okay, some guy just walked in on me changing. Weirdo.
"Uhmmm... I'm looking for Noah..." He stuttered. He obviously does not know Noah's a girl.
"Okay? And?" I asked, pulling on my booty shorts and cami.
"Well, your obviously some girl he just laid, so can you go get him? I'm supposed to "bond" with him..." He said, wincing at the word "bond". Oh, so this is Hunter, at least he's cute...
"No." He narrowed his eyes at my response.
"What do you mean no?" He questioned.
"Noah! Have you met Hunter yet?!" My mother yelled to me.
"Yeah, Ma! I have, don't worry! We're bonding like you said! I think we've even learned some new things about each other!" I screamed back, smirking at him. His mouth just slightly hung open.
"Good job, honey! Do you want a gold star?!" My mother yelled back, giggling.
"No, Ma! I DON'T want a gold star!"
"But, you're a chick." Hunter finally spoke.
"Yeah. I am aren't I? Unless I just grew a penis? Want me to check?" I said, rolling my eyes.
"I can check for you." He said, smirking. Wow.
"Nice sexual innuendo, Romeo. But you were just being sexist, so continue." I prompted.
"It's not that, it's just that Noah's a guys name, so I expected a guy instead of a hot chick..." He mumbled.
"And?"
"And sexy?"
"And?"
"Ib somwee." He mumbled. I knitted my eyebrows.
"What?"
"IB SOMWEE!" Da fuq is he sayin?!
"Huh?"
"I'M SORRY!" He shouted. I smiled.
"Awww, thanks!" He frowned.
"Whatever. Let's just get this dinner over with..." He muttered.
HUNTER:
Okay... So Noah's a girl... A really hot girl... I was unaware of this, I should have been informed. Holy shit, she's sexy as hell! She's-
"Did you know your son is sexist?" Noah asked my parents.
-a bitch. She is a hot bitch.
My parents looked confused, and hers spit our their food. Awkward...
"Noah Alizabeth Jones! Apologize right now!" Kobe, her father exclaimed.
"No! He was being sexist all night! I will NOT apologize for HIS rude behavior!" She justified.
"I was NOT being sexist! I was simply unaware that you were female! I was completely uninformed!" I defended.
"In a VERY sexist way!" She screamed back.
"What part was sexist, sexy?" I raised my eyebrows. My parents coughed uncomfortably, her mom choked, and her father glared at me.
"Hmmm, from the time you walked in on me naked, called me a girl who a nonexistent male 'Noah' just laid, and said I was just a 'Chick'... Shall I continue?" She interrogated.
"Yes." I said, smirking, knowing that there was nothing else.
"Okay, you told me I touch myself." She said sobbing, turning to my mother for comfort. Hahaha that's right I did, I- wait, what? No. No no no no. I did NOT. This never occurred!
"Hunter Logan Anderson!" My father screamed. Dear God, what has this girl done?
"Dad, I didn't-"
"And to a young lady too! How inappropriate! This girl is very kind..." I glanced at Noah, who was still blubbering. Wait. Ahahahahaha!
"Do you?" I asked her, with an eyebrow raised.
"Do I what?" She asked carefully.
"Do you, Noah Alizabeth Jones, use the form of masturbation known as fingering yourself?" I asked, disregarding the two young children in the room. Maybe reverse psychology will work...
"See, he's doing it again!" She screamed, sobbing more.
Well, shit.
