The Horizon

Therapeutic

Heeeeeyyyy ! Well this is the first chapter of Horizon, this picture up here is a picture of Spectra's therapist, she looks very young according to Spec's description.

It's been two years since my mother passed away, and yes I know, I should move on because it's not good to be sad forever. I try, in school I would chill with my squad, I would go party, I would go out, I would do everything a teenager does but it's every night I cry myself to sleep and every morning that I wake up to a river just knowing the fact that it is another day with my mom.

I can't say bye to my mom, not yet, I think it's to soon even if it has been 2 whole years.

I get my stuff ready to go to school and ordered an Uber, I usually skateboard to school, but I am a little bit in a hurry because I have something urgent to do.

Urgent.... I can't hide anything I need to speak it out since my mom is no longer here might as well say it, I have to speak to my therapist. No one knows that I need to see a therapist or they will petty me more and I hate that, they say they care but many of them know for sure that it's not care, it's petty. Sorry to say this but I don't petty anyone I don't care about. It may seem harsh yes I know but it's honesty.

I saw my therapist, she is dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a pink blouse with her brown hair in a braid, I told her that I can't be seen around her if she looked more like she would in her working clothes, so since she looks young might as well dress young, right?

When we talk we look like just two young teenage girls bonding but it's really an adult disguised as a high school teen hearing the problems of another teen going through a rough time in her life.

"Hello Spectra" she said with a nice tone and a smile on her face.

"Hey" I replied, I could tell that she figured I am not the happiest right now.

"What happen sweetie?"

I could see how her face went from a smile to a sad face when I spoke

"I had a dream of my mom, she was in her car driving and I was next to her, we were bonding and she smiled at me and said "bye honey" and I was confused and I saw her face bleeding, catching her breath and when I got out the car and ran to the drivers seat to take her out and when I got to her door I opened it and she wasn't there, I turned around and I see ambulance's there and her dead pale body was laying on the ground with a white sheet covering her and then I woke up"

She hugged me and said "You need to let go, your mom isn't here but she is looking after you"

"I need to say good bye" I replied

"... But I can't"

"Spectra, it's been two years, with these dreams, and every dream your mom says the same thing, she is trying to get you to forget about and be happy"

"I know, but I can't, I just can't"

We always go through the same conversation that we don't even know what to say to each other anymore. Like the silence will be so long that I believe we can last 5 minutes without saying something to each other just stare into space.

"Other then the dreams, how has everything been, school, home, with your dad..."

"Everything's been good, as usual, I go to school, I get good grades, still have time for my friends and me,.... And my dad.... Well you know, work and trying his hardest to put more time for me"

My dad is a very busy person, he is a doctor, you know the one that does the surgery and stuff and tells families whether they made it or not, not that surgery person that adds more booty to people with watermelon butts.

Sometimes I feel that my therapist is more like a sister because of the fact that she is young and looks even younger in person. And I love it when she smiles at me because it brings happiness to my dad to see her smile... Like if she was in high school with me I would totally vote her for best smile because of the fact that she has a gorgeous smile, like I would totally date her if I was a guy, oh my did I ever tell you that sometimes I doubt myself, like I can't tell if I like guys, girls, or both, but then again I can't see myself dating another person of the same gender that is why I always say "if I was a guy".

Although I never really dated anyone I am still interested in guys, I just choose not to date any of these losers. I say losers because these guys in my school don't know what their goals are, like I don't see a future for them. There isn't a decent guy in this school who is smart, knows his goals, hot, and dedicated. Like seriously everyone here just thinks about getting high and dropping out. I need a man, a real man, one who doesn't plan on ending up behind jail bars, one who mine wearing a nice suit and tie, and one who will actually wear dress shoes and not Jordan's with a suit. There is a saying that says "Swag is for boys and class is for men's" and I really agree with that saying.

"Spec? Spectra? "

I didn't realize that she was talking to me, I had totally dozed off.

"Omg I am so sorry, how long was I out?"

"It's ok, you need to focus more, it's a miracle you don't day dream in class"

Daydream.... Well I usually lose track of time or something but she has a point there.

After a while later we said are goodbye's and I watch my therapist leaving towards her car. Oh my, where are my manners, I didn't even tell you her name, well her name Martha Walls, she is 26 but looks like she is in her teens, I wish I could be like her, look young while in my 20s and 30s and maybe even all the way until I am 50, I believe it is possible to look so young at that age, if Asians can do it I too can do it.

I stopped and looked at Martha as she drives out of the parking lot and towards the street. I look at the time and realize I was almost going to be late for breakfast, I ran into the school to catch up with Melany, Jasmine, and Exie (Exenia is her full name, we just call her Exie). We are like the four amigoes, lol.

We usually have breakfast around this time and they are the only ones who know about my therapy sessions.

Exie: Hey Spec, what took you so long?

Me: Well you know, same 'ol same 'ol

Jas: Oh yeah, that was today, so how did it go?

Me: It went good, nothing bad happen girly

Jasmine has always been the worried one in our group. Exie and Melany are the crazy ones, Exie has pink hair and Melany is blonde, and she is a really smart dedicated blonde.

We all stand out in our group, I stand out because of my long jet black hair and natural blue eyes, yes natural, not that plastic color thing people put on their eyes and say that it's real or w.e like no, you are no match for my NATURAL eyes.