Regretful thoughts

Chapter 1

         Dan sat in his bed alone in the dark. It was around seven am and all he had done was lay there looking at the ceiling thinking of that same person. This is how the past week has been going everyday. He was to afraid to go out and face the truth, that he was in love with Phil Lester. He has been, ever since they meet. It took him awhile to admit it, but now he couldn't bring himself to tell him. He's afraid that he'll run away and leave him. Phil's friendship was more important to Dan then Phil knowing the truth. Even though it was complete misery not being able to confess his love. He wanted to hold Phil in his arms and rest his head on his shoulder in long car rides and hold his delicate hands and tell him how much he meant to him. How much he loved him. Sadly he couldn't because he has feeling Phil didn't feel the same. He could tell Phil was getting suspicious of how he was keeping to himself and he knew it couldn't be like this forever. Even though he didn't want to tell him he was going have to tell Phil soon. Maybe just maybe he would love him back. He got up and sat at the edge of his bed rubbing his eyes. Even though he slept for ten hours he was exhausted. Today he wanted the truth that he loved Phil to be exposed but how. Was he going to tell him? Was he going to kiss him? He decided to just let things happen, he just has to wait for the perfect time. He took a beep breathe and got up and walked out his bedroom door. He could see Phil was already awake as his door was wide opened and he was probably up in the lounge watching some anime. He missed the days where they would get up together to watch some together and eat cereal and just enjoy themselves. It was probably his fault that they didn't do it anymore. He then went to the kitchen and saw Phil had already made his coffee. He smiled and decided he should spend his morning with him. He usually just went back to his room.  He then walked into and saw Phil in his usual spot with his fuzzy pants and his glasses with his morning hair. He look adorable as always. "Morning." Grumbles Dan as he sat down in his usual spot. "Good morning, did you sleep well." Said Phil. "Not really."
"Whys that."
"I don't really know."
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine"
      Dan never really understood why Phil would always say he's sorry for things that wasn't even his fault. But that was just him. He began to scroll through the endless pit of tumblr, but he couldn't really focus. Phil was the only thing he was thinking about. Things haven't been the same lately. And he could tell that they both new that.
"Hey Dan?" Asked Phil
"Are you ok?" Dan froze, he knew if he said he's was then Phil would know he is lieing but if he said he wasn't then Phil would ask why and then Dan would have to tell the truth which he wasn't to ready to say. "Umm... I'm just tired." Replied Dan. "But Dan how can you be tired for the past week I know something's wrong just tell me." Phil's sad tone in his voice made Dan want to cry into Phil's arms but he couldn't. He could feel Phil's piercing blue eyes staring at him. He bite his lip and sighed. "I just don't really feel like myself." Phil sighed and then scooted closer to Dan. "What do you mean Dan I want to know what's wrong." Phil places his hand on Dans shoulder. Dan could feel his face heating up. Was he going to tell him now? He wasn't ready. "It's just I don't know how to put it into words." Dan looked down at his hands. "Why don't you go take a nap and sleep on it." Phil replied while patting his shoulder. "Ok" Dan got up and left to his bedroom.

A/N// this is my first phan fic I hope you like it so far I'm going to try to post chapters regularly. See ya soon :)