My Sunflower [h.s]

o n e

I began my nightly ritual of scrolling down my Tumblr dashboard. Many black and white photos of simple things like bicycles, sunsets, and blurry cars caught my eye. Tumblr was easily one of my most favorite things that existed.

I don't have a very popular page on Tumblr; I only have about thirty followers. I don't post original things like some users who write poetry or just post the most random things that someone could think of. Tumblr is just a place for my mind to go to if I'm in need of positivity.

Now, that might sound crazy considering there are so many depressing blogs that are just waiting to be looked at, but I decided a long time ago to only surround myself with positivity. That is why my blog consists of silly cat photos or quotes that I like.

I continue to swipe my thumb down my screen until I had reached posts that I saw hours before. I then tap on my blog, just in case I need to delete a few of my posts.

The moment my screen loads, something catches my eye: a notification in my message box. I start to get excited. Has one of my favorite blogs finally responded to me? Or better, has my favorite singer noticed me? I hesitate before clicking the box. I really don't want to get my hopes up, only to be let down by some sort of spam mail.

Finally, my thumb taps the screen and one message pops up.

anonymous:

hello :) I just wanted you to know that your smile is beautiful. I hope you never have to frown so that the world is lit up with your bright smile. have a great day/night.

I smile to myself and wish I knew who the sender was. I check my notifications to see if I have any new followers, but the last activity shown is a like from a spam account. I sigh.

For a few more minutes, I try to discover the sender of that very nice message. I want to thank them for making my day. Unfortunately, I find no trace of them, so I decide to just call it a night.

•••••

When I wake up the next morning, I feel as if I have a boost of confidence. Maybe it was the message from that kind stranger-- or maybe it's just that kind of day-- that makes me feel better about myself than I usually do.

I start to straighten over my dirty blonde hair like I do every morning before school, but instead I decide to curl it a little. I also put on a little bit of makeup. Instead of the usual hoodie and jeans look I pull off everyday, I put on a lacy shirt with a gray cardigan. I look in the mirror and I feel great.

"Grayson," my dad says when I emerge from my bedroom. "You look beautiful today, sweetheart."

I give him a small smile and give him a side hug. "Not that you aren't beautiful everyday," he adds on with bright eyes. I smile at him again and walk into the kitchen to get breakfast.

My dad cooks breakfast for me and my sister everyday. When my mom got switched to the night shift at work, my dad stepped up and did the cooking and some of the cleaning so that she could rest. Unfortunately, Mom has been on the night shift for years. She's scarce around here. I haven't had a real conversation with her since I was fifteen.

I fork two waffles onto my plate when I hear someone trotting down the hallway. I secretly hope it's my mom, but I'm not disappointed when I see my red-headed little sister, Solana, marching through the house.

"Good morning, Solana," my father and I say simultaneously.

"Hey Dad. Hey Grayson," Solana says, her voice scratchy. The poor kid has been sick since her eleventh birthday party last week. Solana's wide, dusty blue eyes take in my appearance. "Woah, Grayson! You look different."

"I decided to put forth some effort this morning. Is it too much?" I ask, suddenly slightly self conscious.

"Oh, my gosh, no! You look so pretty!" Solana wraps her pale arms around me and I feel reassured.

Since Mom is always resting or at work, I try and be a mother figure for my little sister. I am only five years older than her, but she needs someone to help guide her on the path to womanhood and what-not.

"Solana," Dad says. "Your bus will be here soon, eat up, honey." She does as she's told and when we see the bus lights flashing down the road, Solana runs outside and waits in front of the house.

I finish eating soon after Solana leaves and glance at the clock once more. My best friend, Vie, will be here to pick me up any minute now.

"Bye, Dad. Have a good day," I say while giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"You too, Gray."

•••••

As I walk out the front door to wait for Vie, I have to constantly remind myself that I'm not overdoing things with today's outfit. I guess I'm just afraid of being noticed.