He'd stop trying to bring her back.
She only came back whenever she felt like it, whether it was in dreams or lies didn't matter. She was present in everything he made and everything he thought. He would observe her though, from a safe distance, he would see her laughing at some joke and he would smile too.
Some said that if you love someone you have to let them go, but that was the thing. He hadn't let her go, she had run away from all the fuck-ups he made, and now was too late. It was too late for him to say that he didn't want her for the day or the week. He wanted her for months and years. He didn't want her for quick whispered I love you's - no. He wanted her to hold his hand tight and pretend it was the biggest secret of all. He wanted her long hold over his waist whenever she said goodbye, and a goodbye that didn't last until her next heartbreak.
He loved the way she drank her coffee, two lumps of sugar not enough to compare to the way her lips tasted. But how could he know if they weren't meant to kiss him? "We're friends for god's sake," she'd normally say. "But I love you for god's sake," he'd say back. He never thought it was just friendship when he'd literally stay up all night painting her on a canvas and send it over only for her to say "Oh, it's probably James." It was never James. It was never Paul or Wesley or fucking Claude. It was him. The hopeless him who'd play her favorite songs while on his way to his parents. They'd ask, "Where is she?" He'd probably say, "She got engaged, told me to be the best man." When in actual truth, she was just in a place where she'd never imagine seeing him.
Love was tricky and unfair, but he wouldn't care. Not with her proving him wrong. He didn't know what was about her that drew him in every time, or maybe he did but couldn't admit it himself because of the fear it caused him to. She was everything, absolutely everything he'd ever dreamed of and more. But she didn't love him the way he wanted her to, and it killed him every single time he would think about it. It wasn't him who got all the I love you's- no, that was James and he should learn how to live with that by now. They were soon going to marry, and after that there was nothing left for him to do.
So he tried to forget the best he could.
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Mend the Broken - Harry Styles (AU)
Fanfiction"Sometimes I wonder if love worth fighting for, then I look at you and I'm ready for war."
