To Hate or Not To Hate? A James Sirius Potter Love Story

An odd week

It was an odd week with no Potter to bug me. But I used it well studying and stuff. But I would be lying if I said I didn't feel like something was missing or an odd sensation of loneliness and of being unwanted and used. It was weird you would think after years of wishing Potter would leave alone that when he actually did it would feel great, super, brilliant. But the fact is it doesn't my friends are starting to worry. So is my family. My grades are dropping ever so slightly but still enough to be noticeable. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt whenever I see Potter. He seems so... So... Lost and... And with no sense of purpose. I open my mouth to speak to him but what do I say? ''Hey I know I used to hate you but I feel bad so please continue pursuing me so your not so down. For my sake.'' I can't say that. That is absolute nonsense. I skip meals just so that I don't see him. I feel tingly and weird. Numb. In a sense if you understand what I mean. I've been trying to distract myself with school work but I just think of all the time Potter came in hear just to hear me shout. Or how I got suspended from the library for a week. Now people keep asking me: ''Eva are you ok?'' I just respond with a nod or a ''I'm fine.'' Now every Potions class next to Potter is greeted with silence. No stupid jokes. Or pick- up lines about love, marriage or children. Just silence. They say silence is the loudest scream. I never used to believe in that. But I do now. Only too well. The Potter's are to look after me for the first half of the holidays. I just replied to dad with a sigh. No protests. No begging. No pleading. No complaints. Just a sigh. People say I've gotten quieter. It's true. Slowly I'm just less and less engaged in any type of conversations.