The Journal of A Criminal.

November 9th?, 2000

   "Wake~" I was losing her, the light that shone around her slowly began to fade. "Come on you little,~" Her fingers slipped through my fingers.. As if my fingers were paper and she was the finest pen. "Damn it!" I felt a jolt as I opened my eyes, I didn't see anything at first. A blinding white light distorted my vision. I couldn't move; there was something restricting me, that was bound around my wrists and ankles. Soon, I could make out black figures.

   "Who are you." Said a dark, raspy voice that felt like ice against my skin.
I could make out the wrinkles on his face, I could see the scars against his neck, I could see the tattoos printed against his body. But, I recognized this man. There was not a physical feature that I could recall. But I knew of him. It was his smell.. I smelled the same stench in my home. It smelled of decay.

   I slow felt this burning sensation inside my chest. I could see the dry liquid that stained our floor. The light seemed to dim. I could feel hate in its purest form, seep through my veins. Her hair tangled and tossed over her shoulders from her falling. I felt like I could destroy the world. I remember how I felt when I saw that. How my heart tore into two halves. Wrecked.

   "I'm the motherfucker who'll kill you and every other asshole associated with your pesty ass." I growled with a fury of rage. I lunged up which led to breaking the wooden legs off the chair that was roped around my legs. I swung around and felt the chair impact, as another man ran into me with his arms around me trying to tackle me to the ground. This ended up with the guy behind me getting impaled with the chair legs as I stumbled onto my back landing on top of him.

   The chair shattered underneath our weight, I felt a quick sting and pain left my body. I kicked up, knocking the guy in front of me back. My hands were mobilized but still had rope tied around my wrist which had wood splinters dangling down. I swung quickly at the mans face, with a right hook. He easily blocked it, only to have the added wooden appendage hit him in his face.

   A blood streak formed on his cheek. While he was still phased out, I quickly lunged forward with a knee to his groin. He collapsed but I grab him up by his collar and shot him with a quick elbow to the back of his head. I felt his body stiffen and limp as I let go and he fell. I felt mighty hands grip around my shoulder and I as quickly turned around. All I could see was black as I felt a painful strike across my jaw. I could feel it swell and enlarge.

   "I'm going to fucking enjoy this, bitch." The man snarled as he threw himself at me, both of his hands ceasing my arms as he tried throwing me against the wall. I quickly jerked my body, freeing me from one grip, but his other hand held firmly fast against my shoulder. I got a lucky jab to his nose and he stumbled back. I reached for the ground grabbing a leg of the broken wooden chair, and swung.

   He basically ran into it. I couldn't tell if he was unaware of it coming towards his face, but when it made impact. I could see horror in his eyes and he collapsed to the ground. I was quickly turning around to the door when I heard a loud crackling noise, like a firework and felt cold trickling down against my arm. I fell onto my knees as I saw a man pointing a gun to me. This it it. I was in hell, now I'll be in heaven that only exists because of her.

   The man held a crooked smile on his face. I felt a pain in my stomach, seconds seemed like hours. It felt like days passed by as I watch the end of the barrow, waiting for my death. Waiting for some other person to take my life. A person that didn't deserve that satisfaction. My life, in their hands. I quickly jumped at the, quickly knocking the gun to the side and moving in the opposite direction as I heard a loud pop, my hand circled around his wrist and I gripped hard.

   He wasn't ready for it so he stumbled back as my body hit with the force of a freight train. His back was up against wall now. I gave him the same crooked smile as he gave me as I quickly came up with an uppercut to his chin. It all happened so fast, I still haven't caught up to what I have just done. I felt the man stiffen and go limp. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was slumped against the floor.

  I reached down and took his gun. It felt so heavy in my hands. The handle was warm from where his hands clenched it. My heart was beating a million of miles a second. I was numb. Everything that has happened, has slowly caught up to me. I didn't want to think about it anymore so I held the gun aimed downwards to his head, my finger slowly squeezed around the trigger. The piercing noise rung in my ears. It sounded so much louder now, than before. The walls seemed to be closing in, I could feel blood smack across my face.

   In movies they don't explain how the blood goes everywhere, they make it seem like it's clean and quick. I felt like I was running out of time, so I shot the other in the head. The walls were closer, as if it was trying to trap me. I shot the other, I winced this time; as his blood scattered all over the place. The walls were so close. I felt like I couldn't move, like I have cylinder blocks attached to my legs to stop me from moving.

   Everything had a red tint to it, as if the room was being engulfed by flames. It's all in my head. I dragged my feet to the door. Everything was so heavy. This place was a maze. I was stumbling through the corridors. It had turns and doors every few feet. There weren't any windows, any sign that this isn't the end; that this whole time I wasn't dead or laying unconscious somewhere; while I made up this hell in my head.

   I saw a light peering through an adjacent door. I fell through it and smelled salt water. I could taste it against my tongue, I almost gagged. I could feel the sun's heat burn against my flesh. I could hardly see, event with my eyes squint. Water sprayed across my fast. A mist hung in the air. I fell to my knees, my knees almost slipped on the mossy stone.