The Journal of A Criminal.

November 7th?, 2000

I woke up to a blinding light, a dark figure stood, his head just a few inches from the top frame of the door. He was massive. Or she.. I was presuming a he though. I could see smoke drifting from his lips, my eyes slowly adjusted and I could see minute features of this man. His beard looked like he just shrugged it off, and he had crows feet around his eyes. Which made him look like he was always squinting.

He held a cigar out of the corner of his lip, and one of his eyebrows were raised. I realized that this might be my captor. I felt all forms of disgust churning in my stomach. There was so much hatred building up inside my gut, I wanted nothing less than to see my hands around this mans throat as I watched the life, passively, disappeared from his eyes. This could be the reason why she is no longer here for me. There was a great physical difference between us. Him being massive, and I, well, I being slender as I was. Two much smaller men walked into the room, each grabbing my arm.

Their hands felt rough against my bare skin. The man took a step closer to me, and knelt down. He was so close to me that I could smell the sweet tobacco on his lips. I wanted him to fear me. I wanted him to cower as I walked. I wanted to see him scramble into the shadows when he was aware of my presence. I wanted him to see my strength. I wanted him to feel my hate. He is possibly the reason why my love is gone.

He smiled and placed his hand on my face, as if I was some type of animal he was about to sell. He pressed his fingers into my cheeks to force my mouth open. I spit in his face. I could see the shock on his face, but it only lasted for a few seconds when it twisted into fiery rage. He quickly backhanded me, and I felt the world turn sideways. I regretted what I did for a second, until I felt the drive to be free.

My love is gone, and if she was still here, she would be disappointed in me. For not coming home to her. Home, that word felt so distant from me. The massive man left the room, telling the men to do whatever they fancied with me. I felt nauseous. One of the men turned to me and smiled, as the other slowly fiddled with his pants. I couldn't stop thinking about home... I couldn't.. Slowly, darkness filled my life again... I felt gone again.