Secret Jewel of the Ocean

Chapter 14

I remember when things were simple.

I didn’t have any drama to deal with - I wasn’t that type of girl. I never got myself into anything that would cause a tied up mess of problems for me. Even with the girls at school…If any of them tried dragging me into their typical ring of dilemmas, I’d avoid it as best as possible without upsetting them. Sure, it’s pretty tough to completely stay out of drama as a teenage girl, but I always found a way to keep myself decently neutral among the girls at school and my group of friends.

Jewel was the same way. Anything I had to deal with, she had to deal with, and we both chose to make things easy for each other by offering support and outlets when in need of venting. Or in need of anything, for that matter. If I was ever upset about something or someone, rather than letting my emotions set free for all to see or exploding on that person, causing much unnecessary drama, I would turn to Jewel - and vice versa.

Seeing that Jewel had been gone for nearly two months already, my hope had run dry. I no longer told people that my friend was missing - I told them she was gone. Because she was. I had to face the facts someday or another…As hard as it was to do so.

Things were difficult without Jewel. Not knowing what exactly happened to her killed me. But what made matters even worse were all of the mysterious things that had been going on - especially with Adam.

I don’t think anyone could understand how pained I was just thinking that I could have had something to do with Jewel’s disappearance. It wasn’t that I blamed myself entirely for the tragedy, but to think that I could have prevented the entire thing made me feel so angry and lost.

I had blamed myself from the start. I knew I shouldn’t have allowed Jewel to do what she did. I was stupid, and I knew it.

But it was Adam’s words that hurt the most of all.

The night he had brought me into the ice cream parlor to talk about things was permanently written in my mind. All of the things he said about how I was too busy with my own life to realize what Adam was trying to tell me left me feeling so selfish and useless. How could I have been so blind? If only I had known what was to come…I would’ve done all I could to preclude things from happening they way the did. I wouldn’t have rested until I knew for sure that Jewel was safe.

I didn’t know anything about Adam or the odd occurrences that were taking place. I didn’t understand how Adam knew what he knew, but I actually believed him. He knew something was going to happen to Jewel and he tried to warn me about it. But I didn’t look past my own first judgments to consider the facts.

There was still so much information I craved, but I hadn’t seen Adam at all since that one night, a few weeks ago. I needed to know how Adam grasped such facts about Jewel, if he was the only one who had seen this coming, why he didn’t just come right out and tell me exactly what was going to happen - that could’ve saved Jewel’s life - and so much more. More and more questions flooded my mind along with the true realization that Jewel was gone forever.

It all sunk in now - the day I left Maine to come back home. It was the morning and the sky was painted a dull pink with sunrise. I stood on the same beach that Jewel and I had danced upon in the middle of one bright, sunny day in June. I looked up to the same sky that dimmed into nights for Jewel and I to sneak out during. I stared into the same ocean that Jewel had gone missing in.

And I felt everything. Too much to handle all at once. I had finally allowed the facts to register inside my mind which made it that much tougher to leave.

Leaving that beach meant leaving behind Jewel, and I wasn’t ready for that. I never would be, honestly - especially so soon and unexpectedly. I felt as though I was betraying my best friend, giving up on her when she needed me the most.

When my parents told me that we had to go back home so that I could attend school when summer ended, I couldn’t help but feel completely lost. I felt like I was leaving Jewel all over again.

But it was time to depart, and I knew it deep down. I couldn’t dwell on this forever. I needed to continue on with my life, although it seemed nearly impossible to do so without the one person who had always been such a significant part of it.

As I stared out into the deep ocean for one last time, I felt so lonely, unlike my tears in which fell among countless others. My lifeless eyes were so drained that they actually hurt to linger open. Between my never-ending sobs and my never-beginning rest, I didn’t blame my eyes for being so heavy.

“April, it’s time to go…” I heard my dad say from behind me. I didn’t move. “Sweetie, come on,” he pressed, placing a light hand in my shoulder.

I slowly turned away from the ocean - away from Jewel - and looked at my dad. “Okay,” I whispered, sighing in the process and following him off the beach.

Jewel’s parents decided to stay longer to search for their daughter. They weren’t handing things well at all; I couldn’t blame them. Their only daughter - only child - was gone. And although they treated me as sweet as they had before, I knew they hated me for letting this happen.

After packing up and saying goodbye to my grandparents, I thanked my grandma especially for offering a us a stay for so long. She appeared to be so pained as we left, and I suddenly was reminded of the story she had told Jewel and me earlier that summer - the one about her boyfriend’s disappearance. I shook my head, though, because I was just too drained to bother with any reasoning anymore.

Jewel’s parents didn’t even say bye to us. We didn’t see them at all. They had stayed at a hotel nearby and spent all day and night looking for their daughter. When I did see them, they looked so distant that it hurt.

It was hard for me to become conscious about other people’s feelings when all I could do was focus on my own. I didn’t really consider how hard it was for other loved ones of Jewel - only myself. Just another selfish action of mine…

But I felt that I owed something to Jewel. If I had known that I would never see her ever again, I would’ve told her so many things before I had to let go. That was one of the challenging aspect of the situation: I wasn’t even given a proper goodbye.

Who am I kidding? No part of that mess was the most challenging. Everything about it was challenging.

To not know where Jewel was, what she was put through, why she had to go, and way more curiosities pounded my head for answers. I had such an enduring migraine, and that was the least of my worries.

Apart from my intense want and need to see Jewel, even for one last time, I just couldn’t wait to sleep.

Maybe it’d be a little escape for awhile.