chapter 3: Saint Jimmy Arrives?

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Sunday

Billie's POV

6:00 AM* I'm in my bed with my blade cutting my wrists and drinking beer. I don't really drink but I don't care. I've been thinking of getting a tattoo. Nah, maybe later in life when I can do whatever I want. Well, I can still do whatever I want, since I live alone. I know today is an important day. I can't remember what exactly. Stupid brain. Ugh, think hard! Oh. My. God. I remember. I run down stairs to the kitchen and Chaco the calendar to make sure. Yep, today's Mother's Day.

I've always liked mother's day. Each year I get my mom a gift and wait all day hoping she comes back home. Each year its the same thing, too much work, too far away, but I still do this each year. I haven't gotten anything for her! I get dressed and put on a black shirt, jeans, converse, and my leather jacket. I spike my hair like always do, it looks extra fluffy today. I get money from a stash I have. I leave and walk to a shopping market.

When I get inside I look for something my mom would like. I see a girly store and walk inside. There are lots of mother's day gifts here. I see a silver pink bracelet and buy it. I get back home and no ones there. I see something on the floor of the door. It's an envelope. It's from my mother.

Dear Billie,

I'm so sorry I can't be with you on mother's day!
I miss you with all my heart and I love you. I know
I always say ill be here next year, but this time I mean
it! I wish I could be there to give you a hug and spend
all day with my favorite son! Be good. Ill we you next
year!
Love,
Mom.

I sit on the couch and start crying. I miss her. I can't stand being alone without my mom. Tre or Mike aren't here, there with their moms, celebrating. I'm just here alone in this big empty house. Too empty. I grab blue and start strumming.

Are we we are,

Are we we are the waiting?

Or not,

This dirty town is burning down in my dreams,

Lost and found,

City bound in my dreams,

Knock Knock*
I stare at the door for a second. The only person I was expecting was my mother. Could it be? I try to not get my hopes up and walk to the door. What if it is her? Who knows could be anyone. I grab the knob. I make sure my cuts are covered and check by breath for the beer scent. Too bad. I open it.

Jimmy's POV

I walk to my brother's door step. I got a letter from out mom saying she won't be able to be here for mother's day. I know Billie misses her, so I thought maybe we could hang out together. Were cool. We haven't talked though. Well, when twins are separated, they will change right.

Billie's POV

When I open the door, I see him. My twin, Jimmy. We stare at each other. His face looks more retarded than usual. Just seeing him makes me angry. How dare he come here? After all he did to me when we were young, beating me up, breaking my toys, being mom's favorite! He was always a trouble maker. I look at him with furious eyes. I'm opening and closing my fists. I walk to the living room. He comes inside and closes the door. I sit down on the couch. He sits down next to me.

Jimmy's POV

"Hello Billie"

"What do you want jimmy!?"

"I heard mom wasn't coming, so I thought-"

"No you thought nothing! Your lying! You-"

"Billie! I know I wasn't the best brother growing up but I just thought we could hang out today."

"Really...do you mean it?"

"Yes"

"Um, so what do we do now?"

"We can go get ice cream. I know you love ice cream. Yeah?"

"Yeah okay!"

Billie's POV

We leave and walk to an ice cream parlor. Its weird that my twin would be nice to me after all he has done. But I think he has changed. Were so different. In the soul were different. But in the outside we look the exact same. Same green eyes, same eylined eyes, same black hair, even same height. He's wearing black skinny jeans with a studded belt and a bleach stained shirt and spiked hair, almost like mine.

When we order our ice cream we sit down on a bench. When we finish, he starts talking.
"So Billie, how's life?"

"It's ok, I guess"

"Nothing's bothering you?"

Jimmy's POV

I can tell he's not ok. I feel he is being bothered by someone. If anybody is hurting my brother I swear ill kill them. I'm looking at his jacket when I see something I never wanted to see on him. I understand now.

"Hey Billie, can I see your arm?"

"Yeah go ahead. I don't care."

I'm in shock with what I saw. So many scars. DEEP cuts. Fresh and some still bleeding. How can he be doing this?

"Billie. Look at me."

"Yes brother?"

"I don't want you to do this. If I see this from you again, ill cut myself deeper than you. I'd rather die than see you do this crap. You promise me you won't ever do this again!"

I see his eyes welling up. He hugs me. I can't help but hug him back. He's been waiting for someone to say that for a long time. He's silently crying. I cry too. My little brother, the Jesus of suburbia.

"Thank you jimmy. Thank you for making me feel welcome. But I can't promise anything. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too"

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