No Perfect Love

Chapter 4: The Pain of Silence

They continued to skype every day, but something was different. Life went on like this for about a month, but then... They stopped. They had planned to go to the fair together the next weekend, but the skyping just stopped. Macy was always just too busy for him now, which is understandable, anyone would be. She canceled to date at the fair, so David went there himself. He didn't know yet just how bad things would get, this was just the beginning. 

He would ask every once in a while if she wanted to skype, but it was always the same answer, she was too busy. She was very apologetic about it, which helped. He always told himself that one day things would go back to the way they were, and that she would love him again, and he believed it. He bought her a gift at the fair, a necklace. It was what the lady at the booth called an energy crystal. He knew that she liked that kind of thing, but all of his friends told him that it was a stupid gift, and that he shouldn't give it to her. So he listened, whether that was the right thing to do or not, he kept it.

He looked up the type of stone, and what the energy is supposed to do, and supposedly that type of stone would ward away anxiety and depression, which was exactly what he needed at that time. So he wore it everywhere he went, trying not to think about Macy too much. But he always would. Especially at night, every night he would lie awake for hours. Trying to figure out what he did wrong, he wanted to ask her so badly, but he never wanted to bother her. That's all he felt like, not a boyfriend, not even a friend. Just a bother, a nuisance. The extent of there communication was dwindled to the point of just good morning and good night texts, with the very occasional "how was your day?" usually from David.

David fell into a deep depression, like he'd never been in before. He wanted someone to be mad at, someone to blame this on, but there was no one to blame other than himself. It wasn't Macy's fault that he just inadequate. She liked the person that she knew, who was really David, but only on his good days. His bad days were to bad for her to want to deal with, she wanted a boyfriend, not a child to take care of. He wrote out all of his feelings into a notebook, using it as a form of therapy, but then he found out that his good friend Ella was going through depression too. So then at least they had each other. They told each other everything that was going on with their lives, and it made them feel better. Maybe not by much, but better nonetheless.

David knew he was going to have to do something to save the relationship, but he didn't know what. He did the only thing he could think of, and wrote her another letter. This time, saying the words "I love you" for the first time. They had used the word love before, but very conservatively, so he was nervous about it. When Macy got the letter she was less than thrilled, not only did she not say it back, she seemed mildly upset with him for saying it her in the first place.  She didn't know how to respond she said. She was very apologetic to him about not knowing what to say though. He didn't know that this would be foreshadowing to the worst phone call he would receive in his young life. Too bad, because if he did, maybe he could have done something to keep the relationship alive.

This went on for another few months, they wouldn't talk much apart from the standard good morning and good night texts. Then, their 3 month anniversary rolled around. The only thing that they did to "celebrate" it, was text each other. In this case Macy was actually the one with the more emotional text, while David just said "Happy 3 month anniversary" she said "Happy anniversary!! And good morning!!! :) :*" He was especially depressed that day and couldn't even fake excitement. Not only was that the mark of their three month anniversary, it was also the mark of the 38th day since David had heard his own girlfriends voice.

He wanted to be mad at her, but he just couldn't be. You can't force someone to like you. They went the next few days without even the good morning and good night texts, because he couldn't bear the repetitiveness, it was like he was texting a robot, programmed to just politely say good morning, and proceed to apologize that it can't talk to you, because it's busy. Which may have been the downfall of their relationship. Who knows. If he continued to text her every morning and night, maybe she would have stayed with him, even a day longer.