Seeing Red

My Head Is A Dangerous Place

I was so petrified to post this to YouTube. Taylor watches all of my videos. But the one thing he didn't know, was that I cut. He never knew that.I always wore something that covered my arms around Taylor.

I started to think," What if the person was right?What if Taylor really doesn't love me? What if he is just using me. What if I'm worthless?" With all of the "What if's" running around my head, I couldn't take it anymore.

I went to the bathroom and took out my blades. I had four. Love, Friends, Family, and School. I took Love out of the box and pressed the blade to my arm. Hard. As I drug the blade across my arm I felt a sense of relief, I didn't feel the pain anymore. I did this four more times. Then I waited, for it to all go away.
Then Taylor texted.

T: Hey princess!!!

R: Hi Taylor

T: Can I come over baby?

R: Not right now Taylor. I'm having some issues.

T: What's wrong Riley??? I can help.

R: No you can't Taylor

T: That's it I'm coming over. You can't change my mind. I'll be there in ten.

"Fuck!!!!!" I thought to myself. I ran to the bathroom and rinsed off the blood that was on my arm. Then I ran into my room and threw on a sweater, just as the doorbell rang.