Letters

Ianna

We followed Luke out of a side door and into what looked like the more central part of the hospital. The smell of antiseptic seemed to get even stronger and I drifted slightly closer to Katherine. The hallway was dimly lit, the windows dark but nurses and doctors still frequented it, even at the later hour.

"The ALS Clinic is on the forth floor," Luke spoke up, interrupting my thoughts. "Ianna should be there. She'll probably be working, but I think she'll be able to get squeeze in a few minutes to talk to you."

I glanced at Katherine and I could see there was hope shining in her light brown eyes. She thought this could work. It had to work. After this I was out of ideas.

"Thank you so much for doing this for us," I replied after a minute. "It-it means a lot me."

He nodded. "No problem. Helping people's my job." From there the conversation slowly stopped, as we ran out of things to say. I was itching to talk to Katherine, but I wasn't even sure about what. I just wanted the comfort that she could give me.

As we got deeper into the hospital it seemed to get colder. From somewhere off in another hallway a door slammed, shouting arose. Twice or three times people ran past us. At one point we turned the corner to see a woman sobbing in the corner, a man crouched over her. I felt sick, the smell of the hospital was quickly becoming suffocating. Katherine didn't look much better, her face pale.

"I hate hospitals," I whispered, half to myself.

She nodded, hearing me. "They make me sick because it's always bad. No one comes to the hospital for something happy. I could never work here."

"Me either," I agreed, thinking. "I guess there could be some happy things. I mean, there is the birth center."

This made her smile which was like a breath of fresh air. Just seeing it made me feel better. I still didn't know how she did that. "You're right, I didn't think of that. I guess the last time I was here was because my aunt was having a baby."

For a second the idea of someone having a baby sent a pain through me as I remembered that in fact my mother hadn't really birthed me. I didn't know who my biological mother was, I didn't know who my biological father was. I may not have even been born here. I pushed that though away. It didn't matter. Focus on someone else, Charlotte, Andrés, Katherine.

By now we had reached the forth level. We stepped out of the elevator to be greeted by a set of double doors that Luke promptly pushed through. Behind that was a small desk and past that what looked like hundreds of rooms.

"All right you guys wait here." Luke pushed a hand through his hair and peered around the corner. "I'll go see if I can find Ianna."

"Okay." I watched as walked around the corner and disappeared. Immediately afterward I sagged against the wall, feeling as if someone had sucked out all my energy with a vacuum.

Katherine glanced over at me, hesitated, then came over to lean against the wall with me. "How're you doing? You okay?"

I nodded, looking at her, when suddenly I was hit with the urge to lean my head on her shoulder and close my eyes. I bet her hair would smell good. As fast as that thought had come I forced it away, feeling my face warm. What was that? Distracting myself, I turned toward the desk where there was a golden plaque hanging beside it that read: The ALS Message of Hope.

ALS may rob you of your body but it does not rob you of your soul.

You live in a society that emphasizes patient autonomy and you will be able to maintain yours.   

While embarking on a difficult endeavor, you know that you are not going at it alone.

Families and friends can come closer, and you will discover new friends.