Letters

Getting There

The next day, school meant nothing to me. I didn't hear a word anyone said, instead I just counted down the minutes until I could go to the support group. Part of me was looking forward to it, the part of me that wanted to see Katherine, but a bigger part of me was worried sick about it. I didn't know anyone there, most of the people were going to be older than me, they would all probably be battling ALS, and above all, I was going to have to explain to my football coach why I wanted to leave early. He wasn't going to understand. No one understood. No one except Katherine. That thought made me smile as I thought about last night. At least I had one person on my side.

By lunch time I only had exactly 2 hours and 43 minutes until football practice. I drummed my fingers on the table nervously, picking at my food, and ignoring everyone at my table as usual.

"Zeke," I heard Nathan say harshly after a minute. I jerked my head around in surprise.

"Yeah?" Nathan rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" I flushed slightly and shook my head.

"No. What is it?" He sighed and I forced myself to listen

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school today." I winced visibly and Nathan, thinking the wrong thing, tried to amend himself. "After football practice I mean. You and Bryce should come over and we could go skateboarding at the new rink they built over on Connecticut Avenue."

I drew in a deep breath. "I can't man." By now Bryce had taken interest in the conversation too.

"Why not?" he asked. "Mia isn't going to be there." I felt a pang of irritation as Mia conveniently pretended like she didn't hear him say that. I was so sick of everyone tip toeing around me.

"I have other reasons for not wanting to do things," I snapped irritably. "I'm just busy." Now both Nathan and Bryce looked at me, surprised. I didn't ever have plans on a Friday night with anyone but them.

"What are you doing?" This time it was Nathan who spoke up. "Could you get out of it?"

I battled another wave of irritation. What if I don't want to get out of it? I challenged him silently. I kept my mouth shut though. As much as I wanted to push my friends away, they were trying to be nice.

I sighed. "It's complicated. Family stuff. So no, I can't get out of it." I glanced at Bryce and Nathan who both were still looking at me in astonishment. I knew I was breaking one of the unspoken rules of high school, friends before family, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "As a matter of fact I have to be picked up early from football practice because of it."

Bryce looked at me with a cross between skepticism and astonishment. "You're going to ask coach if you can get out of football. For family stuff."

I fought back the urge to snap at him again. When did it become that football came before family too? "Yeah, what other choice do I have?"

Bryce shrugged. "I don't know, that just seemed kind of harsh."

This time I laughed. "Missing one football practice? The coach isn't that bad!"

Neither Bryce or Nathan seemed to see the humor.

"He's pretty bad," Bryce commented after a minute. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"You all are a bunch of drama queens." With that the table fell back into silence, returning me once again to my worries. That conversation hadn't helped at all, if anything it had just made things worse. What was I doing?

The coach echoed my thoughts when I asked him, 2 hours and thirty minutes later.

"What kind of 'family stuff' are you doing?" he asked, looking at me. He wasn't suspicious as much as simply curious. I fumbled a bit. I couldn't tell him it was a school project because it wasn't. But my mom had written it on the note.