Catching Feelings [bwwm]

Chapter 5- My Past

I remember when I was younger how my mother and I never got along. Usually, a daughter's personality is a replica of her mother's, but that was never the situation for me.

My mother was born and raised right here in South Florida to a middle-class family. She was what some people would've called a 'goody-two-shoes.' From she was young, she had big hopes and dreams for herself. She always thought that out of her five siblings, she was going to be the breadwinner of the family and take care of everybody.

Right before her sixteenth birthday, she attended a school party to appease some of her friends. In a moment of weakness, however, she slept with one of her best friend's boyfriends.

Soon after that one mistake, she found out that her best friend's boyfriend was now also her baby daddy.

She found out she was pregnant the day before her birthday and announced it excitedly on the day she turned sixteen. She expected her family to be as ecstatic as she was about her child, but she was sorely mistaken.

She barely got halfway through the word 'pregnant' before her parents, my grandparents, kicked her out of the house. Her siblings, my aunts and uncles, disowned her.

She soon became a pariah in her own neighborhood and ended up moving in with her grandmother two towns over.

Instead of freaking out and worrying about the stress she knew was coming, she did what she knew best and started working.

She found a job as a secretary at a doctor's office to earn some money to be able to support herself. Even after I was born, she kept working there, leaving me with my grandmother during the day.

As I got older, my mother would often sit me down and talk to me about life and the things her parents never got to tell her. There were many things I can remember about my mother, but I remember most vividly how she loved to give lectures and let's just say I wasn't a very good listener.

"Mia, get your ass in here!" My mother yelled from the room next door, "I need to talk to you."

Using my long, skinny, fourteen-year-old legs, I made my way to her. I walked in and saw her sitting on the couch, her thick, natural hair tied up in a scarf.

"Have a seat baby," She said, making it obvious that I was about to get a very long, drawn-out life lesson. "You know that I love you and would never give you bad advice, right?"

I nodded my head and waited for her to continue.

"Mia, I need you to understand that it is not a crime for you to stand up for yourself. Now, I'm not saying that it's alright for you to fight everybody that says something that you don't like, but you need to remember that you are in control of how others treat you.

When I was about your age, my friends talked me into something that I really didn't want to do. Instead of standing up for myself and telling them no, I went along with it. That one decision ruined my life but also brought me the most joy I've ever felt.

You also need to remember to respect the fact that others are different. Not everybody sees the world the way you do. Instead of expecting others to change to live in your world, you need to accept people as they are. And as I always tell you, life isn't fair.

If you remember these things I'm telling you, you're gonna make a great doctor someday."

That was another thing with her, no matter what we were talking about she couldn't refrain from adding on 'you're gonna make a great doctor someday.'

Since my mother had me at such a young age, she never got to fully live out her one true dream - becoming a doctor. I guess you could say that she was trying to live her life through me.