Cassie

Chapter Five: Sharon

 That morning, I got a phone call from my uncle. He sounded panicky, his words jumbled and incoherent. I tried to calm him the best I could, reassuring him and telling him he needed to slow down. After a fit of sobs, he finally blurted out an understandable sentence. "Have you seen Cassie?" He asked, breathing heavily. "No," I responded, my eyebrows furrowing in concern. "What's going on?" I asked, attempting to make my voice sound smooth and calming. "She's gone! She hasn't come home since last night, and Austin hasn't seen her since then! Sharon, we just can't find her and-" He babbled on, his voice full of panic. I spoke with him for another minute, confirming that I knew nothing about Cassie and where she had been. He hang up quickly, leaving me concerned and worried.

Cheryl emerged from her room, scratching at her scalp with her long, dark red nails. "What's up?" She asked. I sighed, shrinking down and crossing my arms. She frowned and walked closer, looping an arm around my shoulder comfortingly. "What's wrong?" She persisted, holding me close. "Dan just called, he said that no one's seen Cassie since last night," Her mouth fell slightly agape, her eyes widening. "Did...did they report her missing yet?" She asked, sounding alarmed. I shrugged, looking down at the ground. Cheryl took her own phone out of her jeans and dialed a number. She raised it to her ear. She waited for a moment before her phone picked up.

She took a few paces, distancing herself from me as she spoke into the phone. She was talking to my uncle, calmingly asking him if he had reported her disappearance yet. After a few minutes, she put her phone down, shoving it back into her pants pocket. "Fiona already reported it to the police," She announced. I nodded. "Good," I said. We let a wave of silence was over us. I broke the quiet with a few sniffles, tears threatening to squeeze out of my eyes. Cheryl noticed almost instantly. Her face softened and she hurried over to me and locked me in a tight, comforting hug. I sank into her arms, a few teardrops slipping out, wetting the shoulder of her shirt. We stayed like that for a minute or two before she released me.

It was a full day of worried conversation and hugging before we heard anything about Cassie. Fiona, Cassie's mother, called me. She told me they were starting a search party, which I quickly volunteered myself and Cheryl for. Just hearing those words made me realize that they didn't think Cassie was alive, which was enough to bring me down. We were going to scan the places she walked by on her way home. Later that afternoon, we all grouped up at my aunt and uncle's house. There was a sizable group of us, including Matt, Liz, and Cassie' boyfriend, Austin. Cheryl and I all greeted them affectionately, going through a round of hugs. Liz handed out a few mini-flashlights. I shoved mine into my pocket, the green light barely staying in it. It was mid-afternoon, and the sky was still light, so there was initially no use for the flashlight.

There was a sense of dread in my heart and we searched around, looking for anything that could lead us to Cassie, but all I could think of was that we were looking for her. That we were looking for her corpse. I shuddered at the thought, and pushed everything out of my mind. I found a pair of sunglasses and showed them to Liz, but she shook her head, which didn't surprise me, as Cassie wasn't really the type to wear them, especially in late fall, unless she had gotten a black eye. We pushed on, foraging through bushes and forests to find something. Eventually, it began to get dark, and Cheryl, Liz, Austin, Matt, and I all broke away from the larger group and started to trace her steps home, going further down her route. We all kept our eyes peeled for anything. I whipped my flashlight out and clicked it on, holding it tight.

When it was reaching eight o'clock, I came across a patch of sidewalk with a sizable glob of white paint spilled over it. I poked at it with the toe of my shoe, confirming it was dry before walking over it. However, noticed that there was a minuscule speck of blood on the concrete slab next to it. I frowned and bent down, inspecting it. It was a large spread, already dried tiny red drops staining the asphalt. I shuffled forward, and I caught whiff of a sickening scent. I gagged, waving at my nose. I glanced across the street, where the others were searching. I hesitated for a moment before plugging my nose and reluctantly moving towards the putrid odor.

I came to an alleyway, the smell only becoming more repulsive. I felt like I was going to puke, vomit rising up in my throat as I accidentally inhaled more of the smell. I staggered forward, pursing my lips. I suddenly noticed a white boot laying on its side, blood spatters riddling its surface. My eyes grew wide, my heart racing as I reached a horrible conclusion. I stared at the dumpster across from me, already knowing what I was going to find. I started to cry, sobs wracking my body. I lifted a shaky hand, clutching onto the dumpster lid, which I found had more speckles of blood of it. I raised the lid, beginning to retch at the sight.

There lied Cassie, her body riddled with bruises, cuts, and abrasions. Her clothes were torn, her stomach exposed. Her forehead was bashed in, half of her face covered with blood. Her hair was sprawled out around her, her red locks going in all directions. Flies swarmed around her, and oh god, the maggots ate at-

I gagged, doubling over. I clasped a hand over my mouth, tears coming down harder than they ever had. In a blurry daze, I fell, my legs growing weak. I lifted myself up, feeling sick and nauseous. I braced myself up against a brick wall, holding a hand against it for support. I glanced over my shoulder, briefly taking another look at Cassie. I let out an unbridled scream, my head pounding with pain, making it feel like it was going to spilt in two.

Everyone rushed over, concerned looks on their faces. I stared down at my feet so I didn't have to see their expressions as they saw Cassie. Liz clasped her hands over her mouth, her whole body shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks, covering every inch of her face. She grabbed Matt, who was nearby, and draped herself over him, which with their massive height difference, was rather awkward, Liz bending her body over just to hug him.

Austin was the last one of us to reach the alley, nearly tripping over his feet. When he saw Cassie, I could see all of the life go out of his eyes. His face grew pale and sickly, his mouth falling agape. His whole body trembled, disbelief filling his eyes. He staggered, taking a few shaky steps backward. I could his despair. He looked like he had lost all hope, all happiness, all life. He turned and ran before the first tears could trail all the way down his cheek. I was too emotionally exhausted to go after him. My knees felt weak. I leaned up against a wall and collapsed, no longer aware of the repulsive smell of death surrounding me.

The rest of that night was a hazy blur. I remembered all of the faces wet with tears, all of the runny noses and red eyes, the hand-holding, the hugs, the tears, the bad news, the crying, the screaming, the grieving. I couldn't sleep that night. I only trembled on top of my covers, my eyes wide open, the bitter cold biting at my skin no comparison to the pain I felt. I wept that night more times than I could remember, my ears sick of the sound of sobbing. I tried to sleep, but Cassie kept reappearing in my mind, her battered body laying on top of heaps of spoiled food and rotten trash, her body still, stiff, and cold. The image haunted me. I could only imagine and shudder at the thought of her final hours. It filled me with rage to think someone was capable of killing a young girl with loving friends and a full life. She still had so much to live for. She had started her hormone treatments and was happier than ever, hoping she could save up to fully transition someday. She wanted to go to college, to get a job and steady life where she wouldn't be judged or ridiculed, where she'd be accepted for once in her life, instead of gawked and stared at, judgmental eyes tracing her every movement. Sometimes, I wonder how she survived through some of the aspects of her life, knowing she was born into the wrong body, and knowing that people didn't understand who she was supposed to be. Even through the roughest parts of her life, she would always have on a grin, some witty comment on hand.

It was horrible and somewhat morbid, but astounding to think that through one course of action, such a complex life full of millions of thoughts, memories, beliefs, opinions, and morals could be taken in one night, gone forever, like ashes scattered to the wind. My heart ached, knowing that she was never truly satisfied with herself, and that she never experienced full acceptance. She was harassed in the hallways, and whoever associated themselves with her would face the same hate, cruel words always pursuing them.

I remained, curled up and lost in anguished thought until the early hours of the morning, knowing that part of my life would be empty without Cassie. I didn't get to see the light in her eyes whenever she got dolled up and gazed at her reflection in the mirror anymore. I could never talk to her again. I couldn't make new memories with her, because she was gone, leaving me with fragmented memories of her.

I was all alone.