Diary Ng Lahat

Dearest

Dear Diary,

How can you forgive if you can't forget? They say it's easy, it's easy to forgive but it's not easy to forget. For me it's hard to forgive if you can't forget. Pain is all I have right now, the scar you made is still open and I don't know how to cure this. Can I have a heart transplant? I want to be numb. I don't like this kind of feeling. Why me? Why not them? I did everything to work this out, for you to stay by my side 'cause you promise me, we made a vow even though we're not married. We acted like a child every time we're together. You'll hold my hand and smile at me playfully. But what happened? What happened to us? What happened to you? Why did you left me? Can you answer it? I don't know how I will react when you told me those hurtful words I still remember it clearly "We're over. Sorry." How can you manage to say that? Why did you hurt me? I can't answer my own questions. Only you can answer those.
How I can forget it? If every time I'll close my eyes all I can see is you and me talking, walking and doing some crazy stuffs. Now tell me what will I do? What should I do? I'm lost and empty. I can still feel the pain right trough my chest. Our memories are hunting me. Can you please tell them to stop? Like what you've told me to stop loving you.
I'm happy for you because you found another girl after me. Congrats, you're getting married now. Thank you for leaving me with my shattered heart. I'll forget you first before I'll forgive you.

Jannelle