Random fucked up stories that I couldn't help but right down

Multiple things

Multiple things brought me towards the roof of the skyscraper that night. Multiple things brought made me stand at the ledge, and multiple things brought me to jump. Now I was soaring through the night, I was a bird that was finally released from its prison. The prison being my mind and body. The prison being life. I was always meant to be dead, I was not mean to be alive. I was never meant to enjoy life, people say life and rebirth are gifts granted only to few. I say life and rebirth is a curse or a punishment cars upon the people that deserve it.

I was one of these people. The heavens had cursed me with life, I just hadn't realized it 'til now. Now that I was soaring towards my certain death, the fog of not knowing why I lived cleared up. However, that was not what brought me to jump. The whole 'life and rebirth curse' only now came to me so close to death.

What brought me to jump were events throughout my life that slowly but surely snapped me. Now while I was soaring they flashed in front of my eyes. My mom and dad divorcing was first. Even though I could never remember it during my life time, now it played as clear as a movie in front of my eyes.

I was sitting on the floor, probably because I had no idea how to stand yet. My mom was crying and cowering against the wall in a pile of broken glass, the shards cutting into her skin like my dads words were cutting into her heart.
"You worthless whore! You are no good to nothin'! You're supposed to be in kitchen, ready with a three course meal every time I come home! You're supposed to be willing to give your body to me, letting me do whatever I want with it whenever I want it!! But nooooooo you have to be a useless, lazy, fat bitch who never does anything!!!!"
He was drunk on alcohol as any other couple would be drunk on love. He was shouting so loudly, it hurt my ears so bad and I started to cry. I was just a baby, I couldn't handle it.

Next, flashing in front of my eyes, was the countless times I was starving after dad had left. He left mom and me alone with nothing to feed off, I couldn't even go to school. Then when my mom got work, she was never home. I was always alone. My mom got a boyfriend after a few years. He was so nice to her and I was so happy for mom, that she had finally found a person she loves. I was willing to have him around for her sake. He put me through constant assault, sometimes beating me, sometimes raping me. But I endured it for my moms sake, so she could be happy with him. I was always home alone with him since he didn't work but my mom did. It was horrible.

Then I met who I thought to be 'the one'. He truly made me happy. For the first time in my life I was truly happy. I don't even know what happened between us. Maybe we just kind of grew apart. Maybe I was to hurt, after I found out that he cheated on me, to forgive him. We broke up but along with the relationship my heart broke and so did I.

The flashes stopped. After seeing it all again I was certain that I didn't want to live anymore. I was certain that nothing good would ever happen. I was certain. Yet the last thought that ran through my head, before I splattered on the ground into a mess of blood and guts, was 'I don't want to die'.