The 4 Levels of Insanity:Level 1 - Madness

Chapter 1

I tap my pen against the notebook paper and my thoughts race. Its funny how my thoughts could be going 1,000 miles per hour, but they're so jumbled that I cant comprehend them. I sigh in frustration, god how I hated writing midterm essays. They matter so much yet I cant find myself to make this important. Its just another essay, just another page after page, after page, after pa-
"Ember!"

I groan in frustration, "What?!"

"Come down the stairs now please!"

"Fucking hell." I mutter while I get up from my desk and thump down stairs.

"Mom, I'm writing my essay, what do you need?"

"You were writing an essay? Really?"

"Wow no faith mom"

"You really expect me to believe you were actually writing an essay?"

"Trying is a better way to put it", I shake my head, "what did you want?"

"Dinners ready. Why don't you take a... writing break", she chuckles.

"It's really not that easy you know. It's hard!"

"You know, I could always get you a tutor... If that's what you want."

"No. Never."

"Okay I'm letting you make the decision now, but if I see that you're continuing to struggle then.. I'll take things into my own hands."

"Then why even bother asking?" I roll my eyes.

"Because I was thinking maybe you'd come to the realization that you need help. By yourself."

"You don't think I know that I know that I need help?"

She just shrugs as she puts plates on the dinner table.

"I know I need it, I just don't want it."

"What's the difference?"

"The difference is, that if I don't want help then I don't get help. If I need help then I do get help. But the point is not that I need it, it's that I don't want it."

"But you need it."

I groan and sit myself at the table. My mom has once again gone full out with tonight's meal. Baked bread with a big pot of beef stew and a home made salad, and to top things off, a pumpkin pie for dessert.

"Who's all this food for?" I narrow my eyes at her. My dad left when I was 2, with small efforts to help and see me here and there. My mother is not remarried, I don't even think she's dating. But even so, she's never tried this hard.

"Listen Ember, you may not like this but I've been..... Seeing someone."

Okay so I was wrong. I don't move, I barely breathe, and I let her continue.

"We've been going out for about seven months now and-"

"Please don't tell me you're thinking of marrying him." I say crossing my arms.

She smiles and ducks into herself and my eyes widen.

"Are you serious?!"