Just Drive [old version]

[ chapter sixteen ]

and this is what i do instead of studying for my exams. enjoy the update :]

Chapter Sixteen 

            The digital clock read 4:58 when I woke up again. I couldn’t have been asleep for more than four hours. Everyone else was still well asleep, and it was still dark outside. It was hardly a new scene to me. The sky was the same as it was back at home; it was only a matter of the buildings around me. It was all the same.

            When I finally got outside, there were only a few other insomniacs walking the grounds. The nearest one, standing across the square, was lighting up a cigarette. Another one, a little further off, was sitting on a bench with her nose in a book. A few others were walking out of a twenty-four-hour café in the background. The scene wasn’t exactly serene, but it was enough for me.

            It’s funny how much time I waste standing out at night. It’s not like I had anything to do other than stare at the stars. The sky might be interesting if I could actually see any of the stars, but the college campus was just as well lit as a suburban street.

            Sighing, I sat down and threw my head against the wall. The sky was blank, as usual, not that it made much of a difference. I had too much on my mind. No matter how hard I tried, my mind continued to wander back to Austin. I’ve been waiting for that confession since freshman year. It’s been four years since then, and when I finally hear it, he’s drunk beyond recognition.

            I felt my chest heave with emotion. I’ve heard Austin say some pretty ridiculous things when he’s drunk, but I’ve also heard him pour his heart out to me before. As he is when he’s sober, Austin isn’t one to bear his emotions, but when he’s drunk, he’s more unpredictable than I am. Part of me wanted to cry, but I couldn’t will myself to do it.

            I vowed to myself last September not to cry over Austin ever again. That was three months after I completely confessed everything to Austin. It’s been a little more than a year since that day. Now, it was like déjà vu, but at the same time, it was completely different. Nonetheless, it still hurt like a bitch.

            I sat there until my breaths returned to normal. By that time, the sun was already starting to peak over the horizon, and the sky was no longer dotted with invisible stars.

            The guys were still sleeping when I got back to the room, although Jason was starting to show signs of life. I still felt listless, but I went back into bed anyways.

            My attempts to fall asleep were fruitless, and as soon as Jason was up, I hopped out with him. I was craving company.

            “How are you?” he asked as I shuffled up to one of the study desks.

            “Tired. I’ve been up since five.”

            “Don’t you have to drive later today?”

            I sighed. “Yeah, but I wish I didn’t have to. Don’t get me wrong. I’m so excited to go to California, but I don’t want to go.”

            “You’ve told me,” Jason breathed. “Coffee?”

            “Coffee sounds delightful.”

            We stood there sipping coffee for a while. Neither of us said anything; I was totally cool with that. Before either of us could stop ourselves, we ended up drinking the entire pot of coffee in addition to downing Thom’s entire “secret” stash of Wheat Thins.