Ichigo x Reader

2 - Conflicted Feelings

Trigger Warning: There are mentions of self-harm/depression in this chapter. If that makes you feel uncomfortable PLEASE do not read! Thank you <3

A couple of weeks had passed since I began attending Karakura High and one thing was painfully clear to me. Ichigo missed school. A lot of school. After the first week or two I got used to it, but it still boggled my mind at times. The others in the group missed quite a bit of class as well, but not nearly as much as he did. Since we lived so close together, I would take all of his missed work to his house. His father was a very...energetic man, but was always polite and would invite me in for tea.

Today was no different than any other that Ichigo missed and I made my way to his home after school, papers in hand. I knocked on the door and Isshin opened it with a gleaming smile plastered on his face.

"(Y/n)! Please come in, come in. Yuzu! Karin! (Y/n) is here!" He excitedly called to his daughters. They too had gotten used to my frequent visits and rushed from their previous activities to give me a hug. I smiled and let out a small giggle before hugging them back. I had to admit, I had grown quite fond of them as well.

"I'm just here to drop off some schoolwork for Ichigo, as usual."

Isshin nodded, deep in thought before his eyes widened and he gripped onto my shoulders with an intense fervor. "You should stay over for dinner! Since you go out of your way to bring Ichigo his work! Yuzu makes the most amazing food!"

I blinked, my owlish eyes focusing on his fierce expression. "Oh no, I wouldn't want to intrude on your family."

He quickly shook his head, waving off my words. "Nonsense! You're practically a part of this family now! The girls and I are quite fond of you. And I'm pretty sure Ichigo cares for you too." He finished wiggling his eyebrows at me.

With that last statement my eyes widened and cheeks flooded with color. Letting out a boisterous chortle, his eyes held a knowing glint. "And from the looks of it, I would say you also care for the boy. Don't worry, I won't tell him."

"I-I guess I c-could make it for dinner. Just let me go home and finish up some homework." I barely managed to stutter out.

"You got it! See you in a couple of hours (Y/n)!" He flashed me a quick wink and a thumbs up as Karin and Yuzu waved good bye to me.

As I walked home, my heart thumped in my chest. 'Why did I agree to come over? I could have made up some excuse! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!' Due to my internal debate, I didn't even realize I had made it to my front door until I looked up. Once inside I rushed up to my room and tried to work on my homework. Key word: tried.

My mind flooded with thoughts of what would happen in the coming hours. 'Would Ichigo be there? Should I dress casually? Or should I dress up? Ugh, why am I stressing about this so much? It's just a dinner at their house!'

Groaning, I rest my head on my arms as I tried to clear my head. After sitting there for several minutes, I decided to take a shower to clear my head as well as start getting ready. Stepping into the bathroom, I stripped off every article of clothing before glancing in the mirror. My breath hitched in my throat as my eyes caught the scars that littered my thighs and sides. Backing up until my back hit the wall, I slowly slid down until I sat on the ground, eyes watering.

'You're finally starting to get it. You deserve to be alone. You're the reason your parents are dead, remember?' There it was again, that horrible voice. My chest squeezed as I clenched my eyes tighter and buried my face in my knees. Several minutes passed as I sat there, waiting for the flood to dry up. With red, puffy eyes, I finally managed to drag myself into the shower to try and rinse the demons down the drain for what seemed like the millionth time.

I wrapped my hair up in my towel to dry as I did my makeup. Applying just enough to cover up the evidence of my internal war, I moved onto my (h/l) (h/c) hair, letting it fall naturally. Deciding to keep things simple, besides the fact that I didn't have enough energy, I chose to wear a pair of ripped skinny jeans, a t-shirt, and my high top converse. Peering into the full length mirror in my bedroom I gave myself a look over with a sigh, realizing this is as good as it's gonna get.

I arrived at the Kurosaki residence faster than I would have liked. Before I even had a chance to knock, the door was ripped open by none other then Isshin. Grabbing onto my arm, he yanked me into the residence and slammed the door shut, ushering me towards the kitchen table. Everyone was already seated there, including Ichigo, not the mention the massive amounts of food that had been prepared.

Unconsciously I gulped, looking anywhere but at him as I took a seat. "T-thank you for having me. But you really didn't have to do all of this."

"Nonsense! You're welcome here anytime. Now let's dig in!" And with that, his dad began to fill his plate, as did everyone else.

Throughout the dinner, Ichigo and I stole quick glances at each other while Isshin rambled on about who knows what. Once we had all finished eating, I began to help clean up, much to the others protests. Ichigo approached me as I was drying off my hands.

"I'll walk you home, it's pretty late." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. I nodded as I bid the rest of the Kurosaki family a good night. Soon after departing, he spoke up.

"Uh, thanks for bringing my school work all the time. You don't have to do that you know."

I smiled to myself before meeting his eyes. "I don't mind, your family are refreshing to be around. It gets lonely at times." Humming, I continued down the cracked sidewalk.

When we arrived he stopped me and I looked up at him quizzically. "If you ever feel lonely and want company let me know and I'll come over. It would be nice to get away from them sometimes anyways." He grinned, handing me a slip of paper with his phone number on it.

I blushed slightly, clutching the scrap to my chest. "Thank you..." I murmured before standing on my tip toes and giving him a hesitant hug. He was stunned for a moment before slowly returning the hug. My blush intensified as I felt his firm chest press against me and toned arms wrap tightly around my frame.

"Don't worry about it. Have a good night (Y/n)." He smiled once more before retreating back to his place of dwelling. My heart skipped a beat as butterflies swirled in my stomach. Shuffling into my house and up to my room, I collapsed in my bed, a multitude of thoughts churning in my head, the incident earlier that evening completely forgotten.

Pulling out my phone, I added his number to my contacts and shot him a quick text. 'Hey Ichigo, it's (Y/n)'

Almost instantaneously, my phone went off. Grabbing it from the tangled silk sheets, my eyes scanned the message intently. 'Awesome, I'll talk to you in the morning, night'

A small smile made its way onto my lips as I simply replied with 'Good night'

Standing and tossing my phone onto the bed, I slipped into my pj's and washed my face. Returning to my room, I retrieved my phone from the sheets once more before turning off the lights and laying down. Setting my phone down on the nightstand, I stared at the ceiling thinking about today's events before slowly drifting off to sleep.