Drift (Work in progress)

Prologue

That's my cue, I thought as my older brother leaned in to kiss his newly-wedded wife. Several people in the sparse congregation clapped, and I heard a sniff from someone in the front row. I cautiously stood up and made my way for the exit, swiftly but stealthily, trying not to attract the attention of anyone in the church. This turned out to be rather difficult for me, considering the fact I was wearing an overtly Gothic black ball gown. No one wears a black dress to a wedding, my brother's girlfriend Ella had told me before the ceremony had began, and now I knew exactly why.

Once safely out of the sanctuary, I let out a sigh of relief and headed for the bathrooms to change. As I paced down the red carpeted hall, I tried not to feel guilty for leaving Liam's wedding so early, but nevertheless I felt sure that was all he needed me to see.

In the privacy of the bathrooms, I pulled the heavy dress over my head and dumped it on the floor. Underneath, I was wearing a plain pair of old jeans and a t-shirt. I had planned this all out the night before, but now that I was actually doing it, I didn't know what to think. So instead, I tried not to think about it. I picked the dress off the floor and left the bathroom.

I left the dress in a heap next to Liam's travel case. I figured he would get the message with that. Not that he really needed a message – I had made my intentions quite clear with him.

"You should know," I had snapped at my brother only a week ago, "I'm moving out as soon as you marry her. And you should also know, that place won't be nearby. I'll make sure you never ever see me again. How does that make you feel?"

So, Liam was taken care of. And I really didn't care what Ella thought when she discovered I was gone later that night. I doubted that she would even care, since she always had this air of superiority and distaste whenever I came into her presence, as though she had just looked at something so much smaller and more insignificant than herself. I almost thought Ella would enjoy my absence.

And with this thought, I grabbed my black hoodie from the pegs above Liam's bag and my dress, threw it on, and ran out the church's back door.

The cold mid-November air slammed into my face full force as I sped across the church car park. I didn't know exactly where I was running to, I only knew what I was running from. I was light on my feet, quick and agile, and before long, I found myself at the edge of the bridge, which spanned across the River Gast. Across the Gast, I knew, was the train station which could take me out of the city, out of my world, and far away. I longed for that sense of freedom, and as I stepped out onto the bridge, I was beginning to feel it.

Little did I know who I would meet on the bridge. As I jogged along the pavement, mostly staring at my feet but looking up at regular intervals to make sure I wouldn't hit into some unsuspecting pedestrian, my eyes fell upon a young man sitting on the railings, feet dangling over the edge, facing towards the River Gast. I had gone about 11 paces ahead of him before I stopped suddenly and realised what I had just seen. I suddenly felt sure I recognised him, like I'd seen him before.

"Don't look back, don't look back. Bad things happen when you look back. Remember Lot, his poor wife, all because she looked back ..."

My mother's frantic voice filled my head as I stood there, stupidly staring ahead, wondering if the stranger was who I had a feeling it was. Even so, I turned back and walked over to the sitting figure. He turned as he heard my footsteps on the cold stone, and as I saw his face, I wondered why I felt so surprised.

Of all places, I wasn't expecting to find him exactly where I had met him.

Seth stood up on the railing, grasping the suspender cable he had been sitting next to. The wind brushed through his short golden hair, and I could tell he was surprised by the way he was staring at me, his mouth slightly open.

"Lily ... " he said, obviously unsure of what to say to me as I came up closer to him.

"Hi," I replied simply.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought you were at your brother's wedding."

"No, I left. Lovey-dovey things like weddings are really not for me," I told him. Then without waiting for a reply, I asked: "Why are you up there?"

He looked behind him, up at the stars, city lights, and the Gast.

"The view," he said softly. "I came to look, because ... " His voice trailed off and he turned back to me. "I might not see it again. Winter skies are beautiful, don't you think?"

I frowned, trying to grasp what he meant. "You said they said you had at least two months, if not more. That's what you said before."

"It's not that simple, Lily," he replied with a sigh. "It was never that simple."

I tried to think of something else I could say to him. Seth was my best friend, even though we had only met all of seven weeks ago, when I had first moved to the city of Chroma. I found out he was dying last week, and he expected that would make me leave him alone. Boys just don't understand, do they?

While thinking this, I noticed Seth turning away and staring down at the river. What is he thinking? I wondered. And without thinking any further, I climbed up onto the railings beside him.

"Wait – what are you doing?"

"Seeing the view with you," I told him, trying not to let the terror I was feeling show in my voice. I don't think it worked very well. "We might not get to do this again – you know – "

Even in the pale orange glow of the street lamps my knuckles glowed white around the suspender cable I was holding onto for dear life. The dark abyss of the Gast was waiting to envelop me should I lose my grip. What thought possessed me that I thought this was a good idea?

"Lily, I – "

"What? This is fun, it's fine, I can do this – "

"Lily, please. I want you to leave me now. That's why I came here tonight."

I stopped laughing and felt a stone drop inside me.

"Wait – say that again."

Seth sighed and turned to me. There was a deep pain in his eyes, one I hadn't seen before.

"I'm dying, Lily. I don't want my illness to take me. I want to have honour in death. You know? I came here ... because ... I knew I'd be alone. That you wouldn't be here to stop me."

"But – I – "

I couldn't find the words to say. I wasn't going to leave my best friend to kill himself, and I wasn't exactly going to let him do so in front of me either. But I had the idea Seth wouldn't try anything in front of me. So I stayed beside him on the railings, not making any move towards getting off.

"Lily ... "

"Well, what did you think I was going to do, Seth? I'm your friend! You think I'm just going to let you kill yourself?"

"No, so ... "

Seth looked at me for a second and smiled a tiny smile which lasted only a second, only enough to see it once. I blinked, and he had a deathly serious expression again.

"... don't follow me."

And he let go of the wire, plummeting down into the darkness of the roaring river.

"Don't – !" I cried out. But it was too late. I heard the impact as he hit the surface.

And half out of blind terror and panic, half out of the will to go after him, my only friend, and maybe even save him, my hand slipped off the suspension cable, I lost my balance, and a sharp cry escaped my lips as I fell off the railings.

And as I fell, I felt time slow down all around me, and I felt the world fade into nothingness ...

* * *

Yesterday, I died. Today, I discovered that death is only the beginning.