One Million Goodbyes

Prologue

My arms were tightly wrapped around my best friend’s body. His lean chest was one of my comforts – the way it felt against my cheek and the way his smell lingered against my nose were my sanctuary. My hands were tightly knit into the hair that rested on the nape of his neck. Even though he was taller than me, his face was tucked into the crook of my neck, and I could feel his long, shaky breathes against my skin.

The way our bodies were pressed together only meant one thing. The feeling of closeness of our bodies would only ever mean one thing.

Harry was leaving me. Again.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he mumbled after one of his sighs. I let out an unstable breath before comfortingly running one of my hands in his hair.

“I’m gonna miss you, too,” I said, fighting the tears that were slowly breaking the surface. “We’ll talk as much as we can. Skype, call, text – whatever it is, we will talk.”

This wasn’t particularly true. Harry had a demanding job, as did I. Harry worked for the government, doing jobs that I were unknown to me. Once his current duty started, there was barely any time to call each other to say goodnight.

“I’ll try my best this time, Charlotte,” Harry promised. “I can’t stand not hearing your voice. I’ll go crazy if I can’t hear you say you love me every day.”

That did it. A silent tear rolled down my cheek. Damn him.

“Harry… I love you so goddamn much it hurts. You are my best friend. I would be lost without you. These next six weeks will be unbearable without you, but I’ll manage. I’ll manage for you,” I whispered into his ear, my voice cracking. I knew Harry knew I was crying.

“Char. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I am. I’ll make it up to you when I come back. We’ll go to Venice this time. Get away,” Harry assured. Harry’s phone buzzed, and I knew what that meant.

It was time.

“I love you, Harry. Let me know when you land,” I said. Harry gently brushed his lips against my neck, sending a shivering warmth through my whole body.

“I love you, too. Stay busy,” he said while he met my eyes for the first time since our long embrace.

His emerald eyes were fierce with emotion, but unlike me, there were no tears that were threatening to show. In my whole life of knowing Harry, I’ve only seen him cry once after he turned eighteen.

I stared at him, not even trying to put a smile on my face. We have been through this too many times before. We knew what each other were feeling. There was no hiding anything.

Harry wiped away the single tear that was running down my face with his thumb. I leaned into his touch and sighed. He kissed my forehead, and I shut my eyes. I couldn’t watch him go.

“I love you, Charlotte. Remember that,” Harry whispered into my ear. I felt him escape out of my embrace. After counting to seventeen, I opened my eyes.

He was gone.