Alone- Eponine

Chapter Three

Two Years Later...

So much time has passed since we got here. I am now twelve and Azelma is fourteen. I can tell that my parents still prefer her but we cannot afford for only me to be doing the work. We are so close to living on the streets now it is only Father's criminal gang that are supporting us. I found out who Montparnasse is. One of the members of Father's gang. He is often around our house and I don't know why. However, this may not be true but whenever he is here he seems to take an interest in me. Azelma is usually close by doing something like sewing, yet he never pays any attention to her. He would talk softly to me making me feel special.

Another two years later....

How could father do this?! I am only fourteen. I don't know what he was thinking. Virtually selling his daughter. So that was what they were talking about on the carriage. I no longer anticipate the arrival of Montparnasse but fear them. If he is here Azelma isn't allowed near him. Near us.

Father locks us in the main room so there is no chance of me escaping. I cannot believe my young ignorance. How could I not tell what he was doing to me. I hate it. I hate him.

Everytime he comes I cannot take his hands off me. It is horrific. His cold hands chill me to the bone as he pokes and prods at every bit of me, leaving no stone unturned. As his hands caress me I get goosebumps. Not the good kind like: yay! I like you. But the bad kind like: WHEN WILLL THIS NIGHTMARE END???? Every visit gets more intimate. I force myself not to lash out at him for I know it will have terrible consequences. I realise that the day is getting nearer. Each visit starts with a kiss. Then he starts undressing me. Then he feels around every part of me. Finally he forces me to do whatever he wants. We haven't had sex yet but I can tell he is hungry for it. I think father has some boundaries but they will be abolished when I am fifteen. My fifteenth birthday is in four days. I am dreading the day.

I don't know if he even likes me. He calls me his little Ponine but that means nothing. I suppose he must feel something otherwise I do not see why he is even putting me through this torture. Somehow, I think Azelma likes him. She does seem fairly jealous whenever he comes. I suppose he isn't that bad looking but, after what he has out me through I cannot feel anything but hatred for him. Sometimes I don't know if it is even worth staying here. I have certainly had a new start but whether it was for the best is still up for discussion.

What if Father wants to marry me off. I would kill myself if that happened. Spending a lifetime with that creep would scare me. My birthday is drawing nearer. It is only tomorrow. That is when Montparnasse is due to visit once again. Ugh... Sometimes I feel like my life isn't worth living.

Next day....

I woke up today and let out a loud groan. Montparnasse was going to visit in an hour and I had no way of getting out of it. I quickly got dressed and tried to stomach breakfast but failed. I stomach was a pit of nerves and it was only ten o'clock.

There was a loud knock on the door. Father led me to the main room of the house then answered the door. As suspected it was Montparnasse. Father welcomed him and showed him to the usual place. As soon as he walked in Father locked the door behind him. He was carrying roses. Any girl would normally find that sweet and romantic but it made me feel physically ill. He didn't greet me as normal. This time the kiss was much more full on and lasted for several minutes. While he is here he never speaks, just makes these noises of content. Our lips unattached and almost before I had time to breath, he had taken off my dress. Now instead of just feeling around he kissed me again and let down my hair. Soon he was also undoing the knots on my corset. I was getting so worried about how far this was going but just went along with it. Soon he had stripped me off everything and I was left standing there naked. He pushed me into the largest chair there was and started kissing and feeling me. I was worse than normal. Before I knew it he was taking off his clothes too. I tried to look away but he moved my head back so I was staring right at him. When he too was undressed he got on top of me again and the kissing and feeling started. This time it was worse. I blacked out what happened but I know what did. As I regained consciousness I heard the door give a small click and I knew he was gone.

I was lying there crying and wearing nothing in the chair. Every part if me ached and I couldn't move. Slowly I sat up and got dressed. There was a weird feeling inside me, but I assumed that it was just because if the I'd done it for the first time. I was in do much of a state that I couldn't bare to see anyone so I ran upstairs and locked myself into mine and Azelma's room.