a fate meeting : in the elevator

4

She hates me. That was the only reasonable explanation that I can think of. If it was not that, how come she never talked to me after we were out of the elevator?

I thought everything was well between us. What could I have done wrong?

After we were out, she never glanced my way. Not once did she try to look at me at all.

Maybe I got it all wrong. I thought that that kiss meant something. I guess it wasn't. Maybe she even regrets kissing me in the first place.

It has been 3 days since that faithful earthquake. I still can't get Tabitha out of my head. The way she smiles, her puppy-eyes pleading with me as if asking me not to let her go, her fragrant smell, and her soft lips!!! Agh! It is so frustrating.

I want to see her. But I'm afraid that if I ever see her again, she will just laugh at me or ignore me. That would kill me.

But even if that scares me, I still want to see her badly. At least I would like to try and make things right between us. I want to get to know her properly. To find out if this feeling I'm having is something big after all.

I want to at least have the chance to make an effort. I can't just lose her like this. I don't want to forever regret not even trying to find her.

I must see her again. But how?

The only thing I can go with is that somewhere in this building lives someone who knows her. She was here to visit someone right?

The doorman said he never saw Tabitha before that event. So she must be visiting someone here rather than staying here.

I just hope, who ever she is visiting isn't her boyfriend.

Oh God! I don't even know if she is single!

What if she is married? What if that was the reason she avoided me after we were out? Maybe she realized we were not supposed to be intimate because she was already taken.

No! I can't take this anymore.

I have to find her and know everything myself.

I must find her, and then I'll find out myself, if this was fate or if it's just a cruel joke on me.

***

It may take some time before I could ride the elevator again.

So I continue ignoring Christy's calls. She kept on bugging me and asking me to come over her place. She said it was important and that I should really see her as soon as possible.

What the heck?!?

The last time I came by her place I was trapped in an elevator for roughly an hour. Scared to death and could have died of heart attack if not for the fact that a handsome looking guy was there, inside with me.

Sigh. I wonder how Troy is doing.

It was a week since the incident.

I still don't know if ignoring him and pretending nothing happened was the best choice. But I've already done it anyway. So I guess I'm left with bitter regret that I may never see him again.

So right now I'm not sure w/c can be more stupid: (a) kissing a total stranger; (b) ignoring the stranger after kissing him because I felt embarrassed; (c) to keep on thinking and replaying the whole thing inside my head even if it pains me, like I'm some sort of a masochist.

I was in this deep thought when the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" I called out when the persistent buzzer did not stop.