Can You Hear Me When I Cry Out Loud?

Chapter 1: Can You Hear Me When I Cry Out Loud?

"Don’t leave me daddy…" I whispered as I watched his car disappear from the distance. I was four years old back then. My dad took me to my aunt's house and told me that he had some "business" to do. He said that he'd come back in a few days… but he never did. Thirteen year passed, and I haven't heard a single word about him. When I was eight, I was sure he'd come back, even though all the kids at school made fun of me, and told me that my dad was never coming back because he never actually loved me, I never lost hope. I hung a picture on top of my bed of my old family; me, my dad and my mum. I don’t remember the last time I saw my mum… and I don't even know what happened to her! Whenever I ask my aunt about her; she would just look down, shake her head and leave with tears in her eyes.

  I was always getting bullied at school. I was known as 'Kinie the suicidal emo freak'. I was always getting pushed in the corridors and being laughed at. At the age of twelve, I started to hang out with a bunch of girls whom I used to call 'my friends'. But even after I found someone to hang out with; I was left out. I was always that one friend who walked behind the group when the path wasn’t big enough. I was that one friend who always got tripped by her friends in front of the whole school. I was that one friend who never got invited to any party. And by the end of the year; the girl who used to be my best friend betrayed me and went around spilling all my secrets to everyone. It hurt knowing that the girl who I once trusted with all my heart left me now. Her name's Nora, Nora Samuels. She's dating Brad Erickson also known as my major bully! If there weren’t any teachers watching him all the time then he would’ve beaten me to death!!

 I stepped out of the bathtub drying myself with a towel. "Ugly…" I muttered under my breath as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I opened the tap of the sink forcefully and the hot water came out gushing. I put my hands under the running water; I kept them there until I felt my skin burn from the boiling water. I started splashing the boiling water on my face; Feeling the stinging pain on my skin. I watched my skin turn redder and redder by every passing second. "Worthless…pathetic…unloved…" I said in between every splash. After my skin couldn't take it anymore, I closed the tap and heaved an enormous sigh of frustration. "Unloved…" I repeated for the last time. After getting dressed, I opened the bathroom's door and immediately shivered as the cold air made contact with my warm skin. I went over to my window and closed it, then I picked up my guitar and sat down on my bed and started to strum slowly. I looked over to the side table and took my small song book. When I opened the first page I smiled sadly as the memories of my old friends came back flooding into my mind. I strummed on my guitar slowly and began to sing the lyrics softly.

  The one I thought I knew, was the demon I now fear

The memories I had with you, turned into dust and tears

You left me behind, without a second glance

If you only turned to look, I would've given you a chance

I laid there watching, not knowing my second move

Crushed there, underneath the beast's large hooves

I felt numb, like I was tied in chains

I felt my blood drying in my veins

Cries of agony filled the room

Expressionless I was, waiting for my doom

Step by step I started to walk

Speechless I was, I didn’t talk

I followed a path that leads me to the exit