Blood On My Hands

Monster

My dad found me screaming and crying over her dead body. It's broken him. He doesn't eat, drink or sleep, he just sits and stares at nothing. His skin is almost as pale as when I found mum and he's lost so much weight that he's passed out a few times. Even the doctors are worried.

And my sis....well...she won't talk to me. In her eyes, Shes empty and.....angry. She won't even look at me, and she said that if I ever walk into the same room as her that she'll kill me the same I did to our mum.

Me? I'm a complete mess. I just stay in my room all day. I haven't gone to school for the past few weeks and I don't think I ever will again. I loved....love, my mum to bits and she's always looked out for me. I could never ask for a more loving, kind, determined and thoughtful mother, how could I do this to her?

I...I'm a monster. I don't even deserve to live, not with what I've done. I've started a crack in our family that just keeps cracking further and further that won't stop until we fall apart like a China cup slowly hitting the ground. I've ruined their lives, my dad and sis. They hate me.

I've lost them forever.

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I sit and cry on my bed, rocking backwards and forwards. In my head all I can see is her dead body laying in a pool of blood. When I sleep, all I can hear is the knife dropping to the floor and see the lifelessness in her eyes.

It's like I'm cursed. I'm cursed to always remember the blood I have on my hands. The blood of my mother who I loved so, so much and who always protected me. The blood of my severed family, the happiness leaving through our front door like a giant gust of wind. I'll never forget what I've done and I'll be cursed with it forever.

*knock knock*

I look up at my door as it creaks open, a policeman walks in. Tears roll down my cheek as I remember her pale face.

'Hello, Miss Knowls. I'm here to speak about...your mother' he says looking at me, waiting for a nod of approval.

I slowly nod, looking down at the floor. He pulls my desk chair over so that he's sat in front of me.

'I understand that your father found you crying in your bathroom next to your deceased mother, but I want to know from you what happened' he looks at me intently.

'Well' I say with a small voice, ' there's not much to say.... I killed her.' I burst out into tears.

'So, why did you do it?' He asked, as slight sound of confusion in his voice. Probably because I immediately owned up to it.

' I don't know' I reply truthfully 'I can't remember' I say through my tear sodden voice, her blood was so red.

He didn't answer for a second, 'OK...so how did you do it?'

'I..I think I stabbed her in the stomach' I reply, my head inbetween my knees. There was so much blood.

'What do you mean, 'you think'?' He asks,

Her eyes looked so empty. The way her arms carelessly splayed across the floor, the as her blood trickled down the side of her mouth. The way it poured out out of her butchered stomach. The way it pooled underneath her and under my feet and my knees and my hands and my..

'Miss Clara?'

The way it pooled under my skin.

'I MEAN I DON'T KNOW!!!' I scream, I throw a pillow at him and scream at him to get out.

'Miss...'

'GET OUT!!!' He puts the chair back and with one more glance at me, closes the door behind him.

A/N

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