I try so hard to stop. Yet I can't. No matter what I do.
I can't stop.
I feel so worthless.i can't do this anymore!!!!
I can't last as long a I used to.
It's all getting. Worse!!
The voices telling me, I'm " not good enough," "worthless," and "should just go die" keep getting louder with each day that passes.
Every little thing I do I fuck up on. I don't even wanna talk anymore.
Every time I say something I mess something up.
I feel everyone hating me. I feel everyone just wishing I never existed.
I get told "you are worthless, annoying, bitchy, and a pile of shit"
I have been called so many things. I have started to believe them.
Now I can't stop cutting my wrists.
I fuck up way to much.
Maybe I shouldn't be alive anymore.
Maybe I should just say fuck it, I'm done with this shit!
Maybe I can stop.
I haven't been able to in 3 years.
I keep getting worse.
I can't get better, only worse.
Can't everyone see how much I am dying.
I am so sick of smiling, when on the inside I am dying.
The hardest thing to do anymore is pretend everything is great, and perfect.
I can't anymore!
No one sees my scars, my cuts. No one notices anything.
They see a "happy" "annoying" little girl.
No one knows.
No one can tell that nothing is really okay.
What even is okay?
I have seem to have forgotten.
What if happiness?
What is love?
What is forgiveness?
What is "good enough"?
What are all these things?
Why is it that I am not good enough for anyone?
I can't stop. I am getting worse.
No one knows. No one really cares.
