I am getting so sick of "how are you?" Everyone says it. I still keep saying "I'm fine" my mom knows about my self harm, she doesn't care, no one cares.
Why would anyone care about someone so ugly, and worthless. I mean I have like 2 friends that are trying to help, but I don't deserve friends. I fuck up way to much. I am so sorry.
My mom thinks I have made it about 1 and 1/2 months, but really it's been 2 weeks and 4 days. I am still trying. My mom wants me to do some reward system crap for every 2 months I make it, she wants to have a girls day with me. And I feel like it won't help Coz she doesn't understand why I do it. No one does.
The first time my mom found out about it she was like "you aren't 5 you need to grow up" and all like "it's a faze" I was so pissed when she said that to me.
I just gave up on her ever understanding, no mater how many times I try to talk about anything with her she is all stupid and doesn't understand me. She don't want me to have snapchat, but what she doesn't know is some of my friends help me through it on snapchat Coz they don't have text. She doesn't understand shit!
I want to stop self harming; yet I can't. We all are addicted to something that takes the pain away. Some of the things are just though of as they are worse, cutting is an addiction, smoking is an addiction, drinking is an addiction. Smoking can kill you. Drinking can kill you. And cutting can kill you. The difference between the them all if key. Smoking is looked at as something that will make you loose your teeth and maybe a lung, and in the long run can kill you. Drinking can kill, it can get you into a car accident, brain damage, memory loss, sexual problems, and even cancer. Self harm leaves scars, if a major tendon or nerve in the wrist the wrist could be left with permanent numbness and/ or weakness, and rarely death (if a vain is cut deeply, the amount of blood loss could kill not super likely, but possible)
So why is self harm such a looked down on thing, it doesn't kill as many people as smoking does, and they are all addictions, addictions people can't just get over in a week, it takes a great deal of struggle. It gets hard, after it seems so easy.
I still am trying to get through my addiction. I am not the only one with addictions. As I said before " we are all addicted to something that takes the pain away" there are so many other addictions other than self harm, smoking and drinking, but those are the most common; things like food addiction is a real thing. There are so many addictions out there that people don't frown upon now days, that can literally kill people, no one is doing anything to stop it.
