Love Within Scars

Chapter 7

Caroline's POV:

The rest of the day passed by in a blur and I couldn't face neither Katie nor Sandie.

At class, I sat at the front to avoid any possibility for Katie to bring the damned subject.

I just can't believe she would say that. Her of all people knows my relationship with my mother.

Sandie's words kept repeating in my head as I struggle to get out of the class when the bell rang.

"You are always paying her visits, I am sure she won't be hurt if you have a little joy in your life"

Hurt her? How can it hurt her when she is stuck in that coma not feeling anything around her?

They don't get it! It is her face, the peaceful look on her that sets my heart into peace as well.

It decreases the self-loathing that is always developping in me. I need to see her to be able to smile to strangers the next day, to be strong and to hide my depressive mood.

Going to a party seems beyond my reach when the only person that means the world to me is at a stick of life death matter.

In the parking lot, Harry's figure came into my vision and I could feel myself relax as I let my self dive into his green eyes.

I was afraid to have to walk to home alone. Asking katie to drive me was not an option.

Despite what happened this
morning or the hurtful words Sandie barked at me, I felt a shelter in his arms and condolence in his look.

- Hi! I said in a shaky voice.

Great! Now, even my own voice is betraying me!

- Hello... Come on climb the car. It is getting late and I need to go to the party.

He smirked at me and my eyes threatened to tear but I struggled to keep a calm face and smiled at him.

I took a seat in his car but I couldn't help but to think that he brought up the party subject purposefully to remind me of his offer.

The drive to my house was very long and nerve wrecking.

Harry tried to engage a conversation many times but I wasn't in the mood to chat so I shut him off and he finally took the hint and left me be.

When he parked in from of the building, I thanked him and strode out of his car. When I entered the living room, I quickly searched for a blade to cut myself.

Come on! not again!

My conscience sighed in exasperation.

"it is the only way.. the only way.."

I kept repeating these words faintly like a fool. No one can understand the battle I am having inside of me even my conscience!

I feel like I am loosing and I can see the last lights of hope disappearing and fading away out of my reach as an ugly sob escaped my mouth.

I cried and sobbed more while cutting my flesh on the hard ground in the living-room in every spot visible of my body.

I won't care today! Whether my blood stairs my mother's favourite fourniture and whether my dad comes and finds me in this shocking position. I just don't care anymore.

" No, you just care too much that you feel suffocated and pretend not to feel anything"

My mother's voice echoes in my mind as the memories of years ago roll in my mind, it was when I was still at the primary school when my school mates hated me because I was a new girl. They refused my company and bullied me.