Eight

...Happy Birthday?

     I'm battling a pile of algebra homework when the phone rings. Happy to have a distraction, I hurry to answer it. "Hello?"

     "Sarah! We need to talk. Like, now! Are you busy?"

     "Nope," I say, sweeping the math papers off my desk with my arm. They make an oh, so satisfying swoosh as they flutter to the ground. "What's up?"

     "What's up?! I need to hear all about Miss E! Is she really as bad as everyone says she is? I need facts, girl! Tell me everything! Also, I have some news about the science class hottie!"

     "What news?"

     "It turns out he's in my gym class too! Aaaah! I don't know whether to be excited or upset. On the one hand, he will most likely see me all gross and sweaty when we're running the track and stuff. Also, the gray gym uniforms they gave us do not compliment my fair complexion. But on the other hand, this way I can watch him play football and stuff. I'll bet he totally rocks! Also, he was totally checking me out today. I think the pencil thing worked!"

     "Wow, that's awesome! But do you even know the guy's name yet?"

     She sighs dreamily. "Who cares what his name is, so long as he continues to hold my gaze with the eyes of an angel."

     Okay, I have known Jamie long enough to know when she's trying to cover something up. "What's his name, Jamie?"

     "...Rufus."

     I burst out laughing. "Isn't that your dog's name?"

     "Yeah, ha ha ha. Laugh all you want."

     "What if you get them confused and start rubbing his belly? Then what'll you do?"

     "Sarah! Stop it! That's not even funny!" she insists. But I hear her quietly chuckling on the other line.

     "Okay, okay, I'll stop."

     "Good, because I am dying to hear about Miss E. Has anyone gone missing yet?"

"No, not yet. But a kid tried to run away."

"Wow, is she that bad?"

"I actually don't know. She seems nice, but also kind of strange. She makes lots of jokes about being really mean. I'm starting to wonder if deep down she's serious. But I'm probably not the best person to talk to. I spent half the class period just trying to get Billy to come back to class."

"Ooohhh, who's Billy? Sarah, you didn't tell me you had a crush of your own. Is he cute?"

"Eeew, no. Don't even go there. He is totally egotistical, deluded, and just plain icky. I spent five minutes just listening to him talk about Sabrina the witch. I do not have a crush on him."

"Okay, if you say so. But I just want to point out that when a girl is unusually critical of a guy, and goes out of her way to say so, it typically means she likes him, " she says in a singsong voice.

"Ugh, can we please get back to Miss E?"

"Alright, sorry. So she may or may not be a witch, but she's definitely weird. What do you plan to do?"

     "I don't know..."

     "Well, if you're interested, I think I have a plan."

     "No no no nooooo. No more plans!"

     "C'mon! My last plan wasn't a total failure."

     "You almost ended up crying," I point out.