Will She Ever Be Loved?

Today

RRRIIING!!! My alarm clock goes off blasting in my ear. It strains my eyes just to open them to the early morning sunlight. Here I am five o'clock in the morning struggling to get up for my hell. School. The one place that could ruin my day in point two seconds. Where the teachers care more if we fail than succeed. Once you get into high school that's when everything actually starts to suck. Elementary school and middle school (junior high) are easy, then BAM! High school hits you in the face. I'm 17 and it still feels like I'm waking up for middle school.

I feel the cold rush of air touch my skin as I lift my covers up off of me. It makes my hair spring up and skin bumpy. Then, I sit there just waiting for my skin to get used to being out in the open.

I think about how bad this day could possibly be. Which it's easy to say not much can go wrong, it's only the first day back. Then again, oh so many things can go wrong the first day. I mean hasn't everybody else woke up before thinking, man I really fucking hate everyone?

After that, I force my body to get up and I drag it to the bathroom. I swing the door open and rush to flip the light switch on (I have this little itty bitty fear of the dark). The light strains my eyes even more than waking up, I black out for a moment trying to adjust to the bright light. After my appointment with the latrine, I decipher whether I'm going to wear my glasses or contacts. I sat there and thought it's the first day of school over and over again. Glasses. I grab my 4 year old rubber head band that I use every morning to pull back my bangs and put it on. I turn both of the cold silver handles to its fullest to turn on the water and test it to see if it was warm enough. It was warm after about 30 seconds. I cup my hands together and rinse my face as I struggle not to get the water everywhere. I squint my eyes in search of my face wash, which end up making a lot of little puddles all over my counter top. I took the soap and start scrubbing my face as I avoid getting it in my eyes. I realize I have put a tad too much soap on my face as I was rinsing the soap off. It took multiple rinses to get all the soap off that also manages to still get in my eyes. I squeeze my eyelids together as hard as I could to avoid the sting I would receive if I open them. I stumble around in search of my towel. I grab it and threw it on my face to dry it. The rough towel makes my face red. My eyes still burn a bit from the soap. I snatch my glasses and put them on. Everything clears up and I remove my elastic headband. After a couple minutes I remove my blue electric toothbrush from its holder and and rinse it before adding the toothpaste. I refresh my morning breath with the mintyness of brushing my teeth.

I make my way back to my room to get dressed. I go to my purple rolly chair to where my outfit is ready from the night before. I remove my night clothes and toss them in the dirty laundry basket with the rest of my dirty clothes. I take my prepared clothes over to my closet and open the door revealing my mounted mirror. I slide my clothes on while checking myself in mirror making sure everything looks right. I have a floral dress on, where the torso portion is black and the skirt of it was black with pastel pink, purple, blue, yellow, and white flowers. The torso portion has a horizontal line texture and the back of the dress is a bow back. I put some spanks on underneath and add a faded blue denim jean jacket for when I'm inside the chilly classes. Lastly, I put on my black high heel boots with red laces. They give me a little extra height, meaning a little extra confidence. For the finishing touches, I fix up my hair creating a 1 inch wide dutch braid head band right along the edge of where my bangs are.

I then, quickly look at the time and its 6:30. I need to go. I almost forgot my accessories as I was about to dash out the door. I rush on my favorite earrings, bracelet, and rings.

I take one more good look at myself and race downstairs where my waiting school bag, lunch, and wallet phone case are by the kitchen. I grab my things and take care of my dog. I finally make my way out the door, lock it, into what was my mom's, now my red Nissan Sentra, and off to my junior year.