Will She Ever Be Loved?

High School, Hell

I pull into the school campus rolling my eyes in disgust of all the idiots I have to be around. I park in one of the few open spots left. I sit for a minute to take a look at my phone to see that it was 6:45 a.m. I have 5 minutes to spare. I groan as I pick up my things and walk out into the quad.

I feel a gush of wind blow in my face. The smell of anxiety is thick in the air, so were hormones. Couples are in every corner eating each others faces. It makes my head spin at the thought of our society. Afterwards, I scan the area to my friends in our usual meet up spot by the grass.

I feel a hard shove into my shoulder and I shout instinctively, "What the hell?"

"Oops. Haha! I'm sorry," some idiot says with a cheesy smile.

"Whatever! God watch where you're going!" I growl and glare. I must say he's pretty cute though.

His eyes drop into confusion, "Jeez! It was an accident."

"Sure," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes. I hold my books in my arms tighter and shove my shoulder into his as I strut away.

He tries to yell something back which sounds like, "Dang! You don't have to be such a-" I don't care to hear the rest. The little moment wastes my time so I have to rush to find my locker, and get to class.

Turns out my first period class, English Lit is only a couple feet away from my locker. I'm the last kid to come in. Ugh! The awkwardness! I can feel their eyes stare down deep into my soul, it burns. I pause to look for an empty seat.

I see one empty spot. Then I see who it's next to. I freeze. Him. It's him! Panic! He sees me. I see him. He seems to be panicking as well. I drag my body over to the seat. I gulp to keep my heart in place. I can feel tears creeping out, but I hold them back. I hold out my hand to put my binder on the desk and I look at him. Seconds feel like hours. My hand shakes more, I just swiftly set down my binder and sit down. Like ripping off a band-aid, I exhale deeply as I put my index finger and thumb along my temple trying not to stress out. Then, I pull my hair forward to block the view of him.

I don't really pay attention to the lesson, since it's just all about classroom rules and review. The teacher's name is Mrs. Sandra, she seems nice but has a boring voice; maybe that's just what I think.

My main focus is on the guy next to me. He's changed. He has a clearer jaw line, vibrant fiery hair, clearer pale skin, a new haircut, fit body, and no braces. That was all over the summer. I missed so much in those three months, well probably more than that. God why? Why is it so hard? He was my guy best friend, my "friend with benefits" as my lovely friends put it. I sigh at the thought of our past. I miss him, I wish I didn't.

He later, rolls up his sleeves and I glance over at his arms that were resting on the desk, then I remember. His scars, his scars are still there. Little skinny lines. I shiver at the memory, since they were because of me.

"Here," he hesitates as he scoots over a paper to me not making eye contact. I jump a bit as for I was deep in my thoughts. It reminds me of the moment Edward first made contact with Bella from Twilight.

"Th-thanks," I stutter. It was the first time we had talked in months, that felt like years.

"Uh-huh," he shrugs. He's so different from what he used to be.

I was so deep in my thoughts I don't remember what we were supposed to do with the paper. I stare down at it for a minute and it looks like the set up of the classroom and we are writing our names where we are sitting, I'm in the second row, on the right side of the room, and to the left of him.