Destroy me

Prologue - Simple beginnings

I look back and life was so different then than it was now, short skirts, pool-side lounging and, him. The summer of 96' was the summer my entire life changed.

But he changed it all. What I had with Him changed it all.

In the summer of 1996 I was finishing up my senior year of high school and turning 18.

I grew up in a different way to everyone else. I grew up in the hidden suburban streets of New Jersey. So seemingly innocent, a grand private house, with my Father, Mother, Younger sister and the elite trained men that lived and worked for my father.

I might as well as break it to you all now, my father was the head of a 'Family' – or at least that's what we called it. He was a gangster. I learned the truth at age 12, but it didn't affect or bother me, since I'd grown up surrounded by these people, so to me, an eager-to-please pre-teen, I saw it as power, and being let in on a family secret. When I did find out, nothing changed, I knew, and initially I expected to notice more things happening, like in 'The God Father' or 'The Soprano's' but life went on as normal.

But that summer, phew, that summer, that was when I got involved in more ways than I should have.

By May 96' I was 17, turning 18 and finished High-School. I'd been accepted into a number of Colleges and Universities, but truthfully had no idea what I wanted to do. I'd been accepted on to several undergrad Law degree's – which always led to a joke between me and a few of the men due to the irony not being lost on them. Though, in my Family's defence, 90% of our dealings were legal and another Lawyer in the family would be a blessing, "You can never have too many" my Mother used to say.

My mother, Monica, was a beautiful blonde lady, with amazing blue eyes, when I was 17 she was only 40. When she walked in a room heads would turn, she had an amazing body, flawless tanned skin, long legs and a vicious wit; she was a lady who could stand up for herself. She came from a powerful Family of her own, she fell for my father instantly and that was that, our grandfathers joined, both being old, and saw the benefits, this made my family the most powerful in New York.

My father's name was Reginald 'Reggie' Gamarra. He had aged dark brown hair and quite the stereotypical Italian-American look. Possibly inches shorter than my mother in the heels she rocked, but none-the-less and handsome man, who could strike fear into anyone he chose and some he didn't.

Myself, I'm Niamh and the perfect example of a mixture of genes. When my mother had rolling blonde hair, my was a chocolate brunette, but I did have her blue eyes, but my height, was unlike her model legs, I was short, 5"3 at a push. Unlike my sister, Sophia, at age 14 she was three inches taller than me, with, long blonde hair and my father's dark eyes.

On the outside we were a picture perfect family, and so we showed at elegant dinners and debutant balls. Behind closed doors, my family home was a high-functioning business; always filled with professional men in suits flowing through the house, with motive or just living and working.

It was perfect, we lived, went to events, my father did his business with my mother by his side – it was perfect, to everyone by me.

I loved being spoiled and bought things, but my life felt so restrained, I went to a private school, my friends had to come stay with me, I could never go to them and I was not allowed boyfriends.

That didn't stop me trying and I often did enjoy a lot of my time with some of the younger men of my father's work force.

One man in particular I began 'seeing' a month before my 18th was Matthew, he was sexy, tall, and not too old. He gave me exactly what I wanted – sex.

By time I started seeing him I wasn't a virgin; I'd lost my virginity to a senior in my junior year and since then I wanted him. He wasn't easy to persuade, but I got my way. I liked, him, I liked the simplicity I had, did I love him? Probably not, but until he came I never knew what love actually meant.

Things seemed so simple to me then, but, I suppose it was a simpler time. As much as I thought I understood my father's business, I was wrong, and that all changed a simple month later.

It was a hot June that year when my father had a family visiting from New Jersey. Though my father didn't talk about the prior, my mother took me and my sister off into her study to explain more about them.

They were an old family, much like my own she explained, but they weren't exactly friendly "My father was a friend of their current boss' father. But after a deal went south with a Russian man, who my father was friends with, the man boss who's coming to stay, Antonio, has never been our biggest fan."

While I was taking the story in my sister asked what we were all thinking, "So, why are they staying?"

"You're father's doing a very important deal with them, it requires them both here to conduct the deal. They'll be staying until late September."

This was the day that he changed everything.