Imagine staring into a little, annoying light right in your face just like in the movies, with a short silhouette right behind it. "Hello Aubrey, I suppose you are wondering why you are here right now, huh?" The short man on my nerves says in a calm voice.
"Me? Oh, no. Psh I just love to come here because... Well it's just so comforting. FYI love the light by the way! Does it's job superb!" I sarcastically say.
"I don't appreciate your sarcasm."
"Bummer. Well maybe I don't appreciate being kidnapped at....whatever the time is!" I snap. "You know maybe if you had a window with some pretty lilac or lavendar shades I wouldn't have to ask you for the time."
"You're not getting the time right now. I have a job and I intend to keep this job. So just do what I say and this will all be over."
"Wow! This is just like the movies. You have the bright light in my face, i'm in a chair across from you. You're saying random lies like 'no windows are possible'. Am I on tv right now!?" I mouth the words 'Hi mom!' right into the light with wide eyes.
"Are you done yet?"
"Depends. Are you going to give me the time?"
"No."
"So this would be the time where you threaten to kill me, but I share my devasting life story and you spare me, right? Or is that coming up?" This is actually fun. I need to get kidnapped more often.
"Miss Aubr-"
"It all started on a cold, foggy day...Or I think that's what it was. You know I cant really tell you because I was, well I was being hugged to death by my grandmother, Suzy. Man that women needs to lay off the perfume! Whew!"
"While being suffacated was there a chance you were throwwn at the wall?" He says harshly coming from behind the light and sitting in a chair near the table.
"It's a possibility. Wait you look just like my bald grandma Suzy! She did mention she had a long lost twin sister!"
"Carry on with your story, please."
"Well maybe I don't want to tell it to you anymore."
"Okay we can proceed to the death row then" he say smiling way to toothily.
"Where was I? See you lose me on my train of thought...Now i'm thinking about trains..."
"Lovely. You done?"
"Mmmm? I don't know...i want to keep messing with you, but this is totally fun! Unfortunately I have a party to get to so continue. Not with the death row part. The movie part."
"Movie part-nope never mind, don't want to know."
"To late!" I say way to happy and excited. "The movie part: where you talk and talk and talk and threaten and get all up in my face and spit. Say it. Don't spray it. Look it up!"
"Regret that... Alright shall we proceed to the task?"
"Task? Sorry I don't do chores."
He sighs heavily. Walks to my chair and growls through his clenched teeth. "I swear if you don't-"
"Wait!... I need popcorn!" I shout while I look around.
"Would you like butter on that as well?"
"Oh. No thank you it's a calories thing."
I hear a faint chuckle from behind the mirror. 1 sided glass. Should have known. Because c'mon they have those in the movies too!
The man turns around and starts violently whispering. I think I'm finally getting to him. I start to pick up some words. "Permission to discipline?" Oh crap Aubrey time to get your shit together!
"Permission granted." He turns around. "Now less try this again."
"Uhh? Is that a no on the popcorn? A soda at least? Not diet. I hate that stuff!"
He's got a 'out for blood look' on his face. Gets close and slaps me across the face.
"Fine I'll take diet."
"Aubrey, Aubrey, Aubrey. I have so much power you have no idea how much. If you don't answer my questions I have permission to do things you never knew existed. So I suggest take this serious and shut. Up!" He growls.
"Whoa...shit just got serious!" I sing in a high pitched note. Just in time for a strike on my temple.
"Just answer the questions so we can both leave!"
"I get to leave! Man you should have started with that sooner! BTW love the shades from those dudes that frikken KIDNAPPED ME!"
"...First question! We need to know how you know Alex."
"We?"
"Yes. You. Me. The 'dudes' with the nice shades" he says as he waves to the mirror behind me.
"No way! They're back there! I get up close to the mirror and wave. "Nice shades!"
I turn back and say to the mysterious man "man this would be embarrassing if they weren't there!"
"Anymore then right now?- never mind. Can we continue or should we try again tomorrow?"
"You can try, but I think you should just save your time and breath. Maybe get a hobbie. ya know like something fun like fostering puppies instead of kidnapping people!"
"Ha ha ha!"
"So where do I get out to go home?"
"So you want to go home do ya? Yeah about that this is your new home until you confess. I'm sure mom and pops won't mind."
"Wait until a school night! Though I'm sure they won't mind one night. While I'm here I can add the shades and wallpaper. Just imagine this room right here, nice and cozy! Crazy right!"
"Goodnight Aubrey!" He sounds too happy to say that...
"Night!" Strangely after that I could not sleep... Strange huh?
**********to be continued*********
Ok so what do you think?
Too much goofing off?
Any of it funny?
Should i just get to the point?
Please let me know! ^_^
