I can't keep constantly pretending like I'm okay. I don't think I'll ever be able to be happy again. It's hard to be happy when everyone around me just throws negative things at me and when it's not even really them it just my intrusive thoughts, I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of being like this, I'm tired of being like this
And I push people away when all I really want is someone to look at me and say I know your not ok but that's ok but I'm tired of living
Yes i know I push them away I have no right to but when you fall hard for them you have too cause they ask every day if you're ok and you say yes when all you wanna say is no I'm not okay my heart is torn to pieces and seeing you just hurts even more but no you won't say that you just put a smile on and say yea I'm fine
But this isn't even about them this is about me I don't wanna have attention I don't want people to worry I don't want people to care so I don't show it and I smile to hide it but I don't know how much longer I can hide it but oh well good bye for today
