I saw a picture of mine, months ago. I was smiling, genuinely. That's also the time before I met you. That picture made me realize of things, a lot of things that changed in me since you came. At first, I was that happy-go-lucky guy, smiling every time I see someone, laughing at nonsense things and playful, until I met you. Everything changed when I met you, I became conscious of what I look like, minding other people's judgmental looks, being careful of what I'm doing, I'm still doing the things that I'm used to do, only minimal. I changed, I changed because of you. Dreaming, wishing, and hoping that you'll notice me. Notice me as someone. Notice me as me. We're like heaven and Earth, I'm on Earth and you're there. It feels like I can't even reach you. Cliché? I don't think so. The days transformed into weeks eventually months. I was still silently and quietly hoping you'll be with me, although I know that it's impossible to happen. I'm contented in watching you from here, seeing you happy as that. I don't have the guts to introduce myself to you, to the point that every time we passed each other, I look down. I don't have the confidence. I want you to know me, but I don't want to. It feels like wrong. I want you to know me, but I know it's impossible.
Everything's fine with me, you being happy. While me, well, watching you live your life the fullest. I was contented, with everything that we have, or at least I thought so. One day, I heard something about you. Three words, that literally made my whole world turn around, that made my heart break, that made me like this. "She's with someone." I know, right? Who in his right mind would hope for someone to be his if she doesn't even know him? I was hurting, mourning, and silently hoping that everything I heard are all nothing but lies. But nobody proved that to me, they all said you really are with someone else. At that time, I realized that I was facing one thing. That I am nothing but a shattered heart that even the mightiest glue isn't able to return everything into its rightful place. I know, I am hurting today, but who knows what will happen tomorrow? Yeah, I am silently hoping you'll be with me, but I know, that the time will come, that someone will eventually heal the scars that you incised in the depths of my heart.
