Fixing Me (Phil & Dan)

Chapter Eleven

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Chapter Eleven

***back to Phil's POV***

I sit at the breakfast bar in silence, my back curved as I rest my chin on my folded arms. With Dan and Mia gone, and Sarah having cancelled, there's nothing to do. I should go for a run. Maybe I'll lose a little more weight. But laziness tethers me to the apartment with thick rope, and I have no resistance toward it. I let it sink in. It's okay.

I scroll through twitter and find more hate than usual. Maybe I just have selective vision when I'm depressed, my eyes sorting the "I love you"s from the "go kill yourself, gay twat"s. All I allow myself too see are comments such as "No one cares about your ugly face. At least Dan is hot lol XD" and "Unsubbed! Your channel is shit. You're such a fag."

I feel like crying, but I'm not sure that I can.

My phone buzzes softly. I play with it in my hands before reading the caller.

It's Sarah.

My heart flutters a little at the idea of her voice on the receiver. I almost smile, but then I remember how she called things off yesterday because of "something coming up". I sigh and bite my lip before answering.

"Hello?" I say cautiously.

"Hi, Phil?"

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Ah, I, um, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about yesterday."

I pause. I shouldn't trust her. She's probably lying about being sorry.

"Erm... That's fine. It's okay."

"Thanks for understanding."

"Yeah, sure."

"Hey, uh, Phil?"

"Yeah?"

She's silent for a moment.

"Do you know anyone named Melody?"

I open my mouth to reply, but I quickly close it. Why is she asking? Did she find out about me being in the hospital? Melody was my nurse, right? When I apparently shut down from malnutrition? But... How does she...? I can't tell her.

"Mm.." I mumble, stumbling for words, "I, uh..."

"This is important," she snaps.

Taken aback, I reply, "I guess I do."

"How do you know her?"

Silence plagues the call on both ends. How do I respond? She can't know about my visit to Melody because that would require telling her why I was in the hospital in the first place.

"Um... I dunno."

Wow, Phil. Great response.

"Please, I need to know."

"Why?" I retort sharply.

"B-because... She mentioned you. Well, someone named Phil anyway..."

"What did she say?"

My heart pounds. Would Melody have told Sarah? And anyway, how do they know each other?

"She said... She, well, she thanked you for 'giving her hope'. Does that make any sense?"

My eyes widen. Her scars, her past. Melody, the one who 'was fine, too'. The girl who struggled.

"Sarah, what the hell is going on?"

Her reply is choked, "She-she wrote a note... A note when she tried to..."

Sobs mingle with the static on the phone line.

"H-how do you know her?"

"I'm her sister." Sarah sounds muffled, like she's crying through her hands.

Everything clicks into place.

"Sarah, where do you live?"

She fumbles with her words as she reads off her address.

"I'll be there in ten minutes. Hold on."

I hang up, grabbing my jacket and dashing out the door with my phone. Thank god I decided to get dressed today.

Hold on, Sarah.

I'm coming.