epistolary

chapter four

„Do you remember our first kiss?

I do.

How couldn't I?

It wasn't only our first kiss, but my first in general.

I was already eighteen and never kissed anybody, because I was so in love with you, I couldn't even think about being with someone else.

I thought I was so lucky, because I got to kiss a beautiful girl like you. After years and years of only being your friend and listening to you complain about other guys and aching over you, it finally happened- and the waiting was worth it. You were totally worth it.

That night many „first" happened.

Our first date, the first time holding hands - like a couple now, with interwinded fingers and all - and the first time I laid my arm around your shoulder as we watched a movie- do you remember how awkwardly cliche it was?

It was also the first time we stood at your porch and didn't just wave as goodbye.

The way you expectantly looked up at me- I can't forget that sight.

You looked so beautiful and innocent in the glimmering street light, it made you look like an angel. I'm sure your intoxing scent clouded my mind, because if it hadn't , I'm not sure if my nervous self would have managed to pull you close without bumping our heads.

As I leanined in all I thought was: „Please don't push me away. Please don't mind my sweaty palms."

You didn't. I think, you didn't.

As my lips met yours, I thought: „This is it. This is heaven." It was even better that I imagined- soft, slow and sweet. I remember you tasted like the cherry gum, you've been chewing on our way back.

You were a good kisser, April.

You had the experiance I kind of wish you hadn't had.

I remember you giggling afterward, it was the cutest sound i've ever heard. It was the first time I heard you giggle. I don't know why you did though, I hope it wasn't because I sucked at kissing. But you didn't stop, so I couldn't have been horrible.

I'm pretty sure we stood there half an hour, exchaning the long anticipated kisses and pecks, before I forced myself to let you go. I missed you the moment you stepped back.

I must confess, after you disappeard behind your frontdoor, I made a fist bump. I felt like I made it to the top of a mountain, no, to the top of the world!

Your mother probably saw my little victory move- she stood behind the curtain watching us the whole time, but I frankly couldn't have cared less.

At that moment, I thought I was the luckiest I would ever be.

It was the best first kiss I ever had.

Who would have thought, it was just one of the many best-first moments we'll have? I certainly didn't want to think about it, and risk jinxing it."