It

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IT is always there. Mocking me. Putting me down. Telling me I'm no good. It loves to watch me drowned in my own head.

Sometimes I can't hide it, but most days I do. Subsided in my deepest thoughts. Counting by two's tends to help me forget. Two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve.... It's back... IT'S ALWAYS BACK. Go away! I tell myself. Leave me alone. It doesn't. It never will.

Sometimes, when I'm alone, I speak out loud to it, so I can diferinchiate it from my own voice. Am I saying these things? Is it me? No no. I couldn't be saying these nasty things. Our.. Could I be?

I don't know anymore... But IT is always there.

It doesn't leave. Don't think for a minute it will. Sometimes it's napping. Asleep? Impossible, thoughts can't sleep. But IT does, and when I'm sitting down on the bus waiting to be home, peering out the window, it comes back. IT loves to talk down to me. I talk back. In my head of course... Can't let society hear me go anymore insane. While the monster sleeps inside my head I find the game confidence scattered across the floor and start to pick up the pieces and put them in place. As soon as I begin to finish IT smashes my puzzle back to square one, and I fall.

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