Chapter 1 Something That's Been Bothering Me So

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What a beautiful thing it was to have loved someone.

I love someone very much. Just speaking with them makes me feel content. Talking to Her was similar to waking up in the early morning, and showering your face with cold water. Refreshing. She made me feel like no other has made me feel before.

We've started this relationship slowly. She's a very timid person, and it will take her a long while to express her love for me through words. It hurts to not know for sure, but it will happen.

She is the most lovely person I have ever met. She's my best friend, but at the same time, my beloved girlfriend.

Someone had said something to me in the morning, and I had been angered about it all day. This anger eventually turned into sadness. I expressed this to Her. She told me to just forget about it, and to move on. I can't.

Am I in love? Or was it just that I wanted someone to love? Am I this desperate, that I want to love someone just so they can love me?

This is getting hard for me. I constantly feel like She doesn't love me, truly. I once again, expressed my concerns to her; all she did was get upset by my words. Maybe I should never talk again, if all of my words can hurt so easily?

She loves me. Or does She?

I think I am still in love, but She is not. She does not love me the same. I am holding this together by a small thread; She has already let go.

She is not. What do I do? She is the only reason I'm left on this earth; does God hate me so? Does he want me to suffer, to have no one to love and to give me the same affection.

We tried to just be friends, She agreed to not make it awkward. I have texted her Good Night! and Good Morning! every day at eight AM and eight PM.

I hate her with all of my body. How could she be so selfish? To leave me by myself to suffer; the least She could have done was stay by my side until I recovered.

I have realized, I am no longer in love; was it even love?

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