Disclosure

Chapter 1

     I sat there just staring at my walls . I stared longing into my ugly cream-green walls . I felt a hollowness in the pit of my stomach that refused to stop growing, and in my mind all I could see was the horrible memories of that night . Playing forever on repeat . " Merick , why are you still in here , you're supposed to be in the car already ... Where's your sister ? " I heard my mother asking my younger brother . " She's upstairs in her room mommy ... Mommy is she gonna die ? " He asked in a lushly worried voice. " No honey , Rachel isn't going to die , now get in the car ." She said walking up the stairs towards my room .

   There was a gentle knock on my door as she poked her head in the door . " Honey ? " She said waiting for a response. When she didn't get one she continued on ." Come on honey, we need to get going or we'll be late for the funeral." I just nodded and continued to stare. She let out a sigh and walked over to my bed . She plopped down on the space next to me and put her arm around me . "  I know the last thing you want to do is get up right now , but we have to go . Okay ? " She said in a hollow voice . I looked at her with a dead expression. " We're leaving on five minutes okay ? Be out and in the car by then please. " She said getting up . Just before she exited my room she stopped . " It's a bit cold out today Hun , so put on a jacket and a scarf to keep warm . " She said closing my door . When I heard her steps down the stairs I knew I was truly alone . I let out a quiet sob and let the tears stream down my face .

*****         *****
The funeral was held at the Morganberry cemetery. It was cloudy and the wind would blow every now and then . I shifted my weight uncomfortably in a pair of closed toe high heels that Id never worn before . My mom said I should save them for special occasions only . These seemed ironically fitting . I looked down into the hole in the earth . I raised my head up a little and I looked over at my best friend's mom .

She was a very beautiful woman, with long blonde hair and warm brown eyes . She held the certain elegance about her that made everyone fall in love with her almost instantly, and she always smiled . That infamous smile of hers must've been left at home today . But who could blame her . After all , kids are supposed to bury their parents . Not vice versa .  Her face was stained with tears and she clung to her husband . She was resisting the urge to just fall over and breakdown . But she had to maintain herself a little bit for her two young boys with her . She had to be strong for them .

The ceremony was a blur to me . It was all the same really . Speeches , tears . Then someone else would come up to speak and the cycle would begin again . I didn't pay attention . The only thing I could focus on was the casket that contained my best friends lifeless body . Her lifeless, dead body that someone had to clean up to make her look presentable for her family to see  . That also consisted of putting heavy amounts of makeup on and around her bruised neck . What a horrible job that must be . I can't imagine having to make dead peoples mangled bodies look beautiful again . Those people must have to be a little bit insane to work at that job .

Then came the worst part of the entire ceremony ; lowering her body . As she was lowered into the cavity in the earth I had to resist the urge to cry . If she was here now , that's the last thing she would have let me do . When she was there , each one of her family members took the shovel and put a thing of dirt over her . First her mom , then her dad , then get older sister Morgan ( who spent the entire time just staring blankly into nothingness) , then each one of her younger brothers. Eventually the shovel found its way over to her friends . And since I was her best friend , I got to go first . I took the shovel , got a fairly decent pile of dirt , and dumped it over the body of the girl I've known since I was a baby .