Once upon a FUTURE...
there lived cow, that liked to eat bacon. since he ate meat everybody called him Vampire-Cow. He hated Mondays, and Tuesdays, because all the pigs on the farm were gone. Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays he liked. On Wednesday the pigs came back, so he could make his food. On Thursdays he would eat pig head on a stick and then prepare his meals for the next three days, which was waffles toped with the backs of babies, with only the darkest of pigs blood drizzled on top. On Saturdays he would trade the souls of bad children who never ate their vegetables to the dark lord Satan. Then went to church on Sundays.
Vampire-Cow lived with his mom and two older brother, Unicorn-Cow and Frank, on the side of Applejacks farm in Ponyville. Unicorn-cow was the richest bronie in all the lands so he had a castle that was an exact replica of the castle in Canterlot owned by princess Celestia. He was also goth( because his mom was anti-social jerk and would never show any emotions of being proud of him and took every happy thing from him and sat on it) and the only friends he had was rainbow dash and her friends in Ponyville. He would visit rainbow dash daily, and they talked about their hopes, dreams, and the weather. He would bring her chocolate chips cookies and muffins that were as hard as rocks, So they could drop the muffins on unsuspecting pedestrians walking by.
Frank was a vegan. he ate green grass because it was green!! After all the years of eating grass and doing pushups he was a lean mean green vegan machine. (Frank is very boring so we are going to stop talking about him now...)
One day their mom, kohl, called them to a family dinner. Kohl liked to eat waffles with baby back ribs covered in BBQ sauce and sprinkles. So she made them make her enough for all of them, then ate it all. she then told them that they all had to move out and make it on their own, or she would eat them all then sell their heads for donuts on the corner. They then packed up their stuff and left, to the outside world.
Unicorn-Cow left to his castle, Vampire-cow made a house out of the bones of his enemies and Frank went to build a home out of bricks.
As soon as Vampire-cow was done making his house of bones Mr. Platypus an unstylish and confused wolf/cow came around. He was mad that when his brother went to go kill a little girl in a red hood for dessert, in stead was murdered by ax wielding farmer. Mr. Platypus was mad so he blew Vampier-Cows house of bones down. Vampier-Cow then suggested he go and talk to Kohl for advice. So Mr. Platypus left for Vampire-cows moms house and told her all of his feelings he keeps all bottled up inside of him. She then knew to much and had to be killed (R.I.P kohl we all think of you as a jerk face:)
Vampier-cow went to Franks house and when he walked in, he saw Frank making a protein shake while doing his daily work out. Vampier-cow, who doesn't work out at all, felt subconscious about his big belly and flabby muscles and left. He then found Mr. Platypus walking and asked why he was wearing such ugly short. Mr. Platypus looked down at his purple shorts with red polka-dots and said that his brother, the Big Bad Wolf, gave them to him. Mr. Platypus then got mad again and when to franks house to complain about his kid brother and how he should be more respectful to his elders. while Frank was cutting an apple, for his protein shake, his hand slipped and he accidentally cut Mr. Platypus .
Mr. Platypus got mad and forced Frank to eat a double-cheeseburger with chocolate milk. Frank later died after not being able to live with him self knowing he ate meat and drank milk. so Frank when to the tallest wall and then fell down after sliding on a banana peel. and all of princess Celestia's magic and all of Ponyville's friendship couldn't put Frank back to gather again. The grave diggers accidentally put Frank in the wrong grave and was put into a grave that was named Rumpelstiltskin. unicorn-cow lived happily in ponyville in his castle away from the world of sadness and Vampier-cow traded his soul accidentally to Satan and is sewing him for a new one, and Mr. Platypus lived happily ever after climbing up bean stocks and stealing from giants THE END.
[if you liked this story you will love Cow-ella staring vampire-Cow]
