everlasting || h.s.

Prologue

I shuffled my feet, uselessly trying to find warmth. My feet were frozen along with my hands, despite the gloves and boots adorned on me. I knew nothing would heat my body up; nothing would warm anything anymore. All my warmth was gone. And it was lying right in front of me; buried 10 feet below the ground.

I took a look around at my surroundings, taking in the thin white layer of snow on the grass, the naked trees, and the rows of tombstones. The cold December wind whipped past my skin, burning through the thick layers of my black wool coat. A grey shadow had taken over the sky, making the day even grimmer. All I saw was black.

I stood alone, bearing all my feelings to the quiet, cold air. It was the same, every week, every time, every Wednesday I came back. I liked it alone. The tears gradually stopped over the past few months, and the pain came rushing in harder than ever before. This time of year made it all worse. The physical aspect of the bitter air, along with my weakness, caused me to just collapse on the ground some weeks, leaning on the freezing stone for support. Some weeks I just stood, staring blankly, and left, needing to distract my mind. I couldn't help feeling like I had to come by though. There was a feeling of anxiety that flooded through my body if I ever tried to skip a visit. And I never did. For the 65th time in a row, I stood in my usual spot, staring at what was my entire future.

Leo Harrison

April 15th, 1994 – August 1st 2014

In the darkest of nights, we see the brightest stars.

I read over the same words, over and over, never changing, never leaving my mind. Those few words played on a loop, repeating them over and over. And each and every time, I heard his voice, over and over. Never changing, never leaving.

His bright blue eyes shone as he laughed, the crinkles by his eyes causing a smile to appear on every single person's face. Especially mine. His laugh itself was like music, melodic and contagious, warming every person's heart. Especially mine. Those moments when his skin touched another caused a heart to speed up. Especially mine. Those flashes of memories, the laughs, the kisses, the incident, the last breath, caused a heart to break. Especially mine.

I lost my love. I lost my life. I lost me.

Thank you for reading. x