Adopted By Janiel

Red Ink

"No one cares about you! You'll never even be loved by anyone! You're pathetic!" I remembered the words perfectly as if it was said yesterday. I drew the silver over my wrist and watched as the red ink spilled out. My mom was right. No one will ever love me. I'm worthless. Another drawing. One for being worthless. One for being pathetic. One for being ugly, fat, and stupid. The list went on.

My mom was never the woman you would see on a DayQuil commercial. Hoping that she could spend more time with her children. I also feel uncomfortable calling her a mother. The only things she was hoping for was if the CVS cashier job paid enough money to buy a new bottle of liquor. She decided that me, being the waste of space I am, was holding that back from her. So my mother took it out on me. Night after night, falling asleep with bruises and tears. Then one day, she said, "Fuck it." And that's the first day I came to this orphanage.

"Lainey! Hurry the fuck up! I need to use the bathroom!" I completely dozed off remembering my story.

"Sorry, Juliette! Only another minute!" I yelled back.

How long have I been in here? I had to get cleaned up, no one could know. I grabbed my razor and threw it into my makeup bag. I turned the water on and rinsed off the blood. There was now no trace of what I did to myself often. I opened the door and Juliette came running in.

I was getting tired. But it was only 10. Maybe my eyes are just dry from the crying. I changed into a sweatshirt and leggings as pajamas. It was already passed the time I'm supposed to be in bed, according to Ms. Naggler. She was the one in charge of all the girls, and was supposed to act like a mother while we waited for our families. I laughed at the hypocrisy. I remember one time Ms. Naggler had her supervisor come to our "home". She was a completely different person. It went from a torturous demon to an innocent woman anyone would want as a mother.

I decided to stay up a little longer to catch up on my YouTube videos. First I wanted to watch Joey Graceffa's video. Daniel was in it and my OTP senses were tingling. Janiel and Troyler had to be the cutest couples that aren't actually couples.

"Watching the fags again, aren't 'cha?" Ariel said. I don't know where to begin with Ariel.

"Yep, and I love 'em. Why don't you go suck your moms dick?" I didn't regret that for a second.

Juliette, my best and only friend that knew about my story, laughed hard. Ariel went off to tell Ms. Nagger. She can't stand up for herself. Ariel doesn't ever actually tell Ms. Nagger because one of her rules was to not disturb her with nonsense.

"Wanna go to bed," Juliette whispered from the top of the bunk.

"Yeah, it's pretty late," I said as I switched from watching Joey unbox Minecraft figures to the clock. 11:02.

Guess not, I thought to myself.

"Are you going to bed, Juli?" I ask. A simple "Mhm" came from her direction.

"Okay, goodnight girlianya."

"Night."

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"It's adoption day!" Melanie, a quiet girl, said to everyone.

Rolling my eyes at the over-the-board excitement, I rolled off my bed and landed on the floor with a thud. Something soft fell on my face a short while after.

"Thanks for the pillow, Juliette."

"No problemo," she said after getting up.

"DIBS!" We yelled as we ran to the bathroom. Since she is a cheerleader, and has much more physical skill and strength, she obviously got in first. I'll just pick out my outfit while I wait. I decided on a Panic! At The Disco shirt that said, "Your love is a fucking drag" tank top and black jeans. Right when I got dressed, Juliette came out wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans.

When I went in, I immediately brushed my teeth and tried to cover up the red scars with foundation . The bumps weren't gone, but the redness disappeared. I put my hair up in a ponytail and did my eyeliner. If this is the one day where I get adopted, I want to look decent.

When I left the bathroom, Ariel came rushing in and purposely pushing me to the dresser next to the door.

"At least I look fleeked right now." That didn't make any sense.

When I went downstairs to eat, Juliette already got my food. I thanked her and ate silently. I occasionally asked Juliette what she thought it would be like to have a real and caring family.

"How come you were in the bathroom for so long last night?" Juliette suddenly asked.

"What? Oh, I-I was just brushing my teeth." Fuck, I stuttered.

"For 20 minutes?" Shit, what do I do?

"Come on Juliette, you know what she was doing. Ms. Suicidal." Oh god. I can't believe Ariel was that heartless.

Everyone was looking at me. "I thought you stopped," Juliette whispered.

No. No. No! This couldn't be happening. Everyone can't know I cut! I had to get out of here. I ran out of the dining room and into the bathroom.

"LAINEY! LAINEY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME SHE WAS LYING!" Juliette screamed while banging on the door. Tears were falling down my face. My sobs were screams. It felt like I was stabbed and there was a gaping hole in my chest. My arms were itching so bad but I didn't have the energy to move. The edges of the hole were throbbing and the pressure was overwhelming.

"LAINEY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!" I'm so grateful that Juliette cares, but I couldn't move.

I heard something being jammed into the door. The knob was moving. When was there ever a key? The door swung open and Juliette ran in with tears running down her face, too.

"Oh my god." She sobbed. Juliette grabbed my arms and searched all over. She then hugged me and held me forever. She was so warm and shaking so bad. I felt like I was going to collapse. I wrapped my arms around her and cried into her shoulder.

"I love you so much." Juliette whispered.

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Hi guysss!!!! This was my first chapter to Adopted By Janiel!!! Yeah, it was pretty depressing. Anyway, if you liked it and want another chapter soon, please vote for it!! Next chapter, Joey and Daniel will be coming in!!